Life is strange sometimes. You ever as a kid see things that wernt there? Hear things the adults said wernt real? I know I did. We all did. Mabey its because I refuse to grow up. I never intend on settling down and having a faimly. To be honest I dont think I could. Its not that Im pointlessly rebelious and have some need to buck the system. I was born without a mold I guess. I cant sleep at night. I never could. As a long as I can remember there has never been a night go by where I wasnt awakened for no good reason. Allways in the darkest hours of night. You know the feeling.. you wake up as if something startled you but you cant place what it was? All you know is you cant go back to sleep because your senses tell you theres eyes on you. Im a nightowl by nature because of it. As if I cant rest without the protective eye of the sun watching me. Closets must be shut and bottom floor windows have to have the curtains pulled at night. I've seen things too.. weird things. Out at night I see someone standing on a corner and look again to find them gone. Flitering shadows that hover at the edge of my vison. Whispers in the air of empty spaces. I security once at an condemed Insane Asylum. I made a game of how far into the buildings I could get. Some were simple.. just dark, smelly, and cold. Others.. well others.. sheesh have you ever seen the things you KNOW are not real. Seen the phantoms right before your eyes and not only do they not vanish like mist in the morning sun but they stay so real that you stop breathing your eyes cant blink and you can not move or look away. Your frozen while your eyes tear up from either the lack of blinking as some small part of your mind has you crying in abject terror? There are places in the world were the shadows are king and we are but intruders. You will feel that shiver your heart pounding in your chest as you cross their thresholds. These places I have been and felt their cold touch. Its like the song says "once you know you can never go back" Then theres the dreams. Some elements change but others are allways the same. Im in a stairwell of somekind.. and im walking down step by step. It gets darker and darker. As it I get lower my fear raises. Sometimes I run back right there others I push myself onward even though I can feel my real eyes tearing up. Eventualy they come sometimes on the steps and or on the bottom floor in a long forgotten basment. They come from the dark eyes red and full of hate. And I run as the nameless things grab and me trying to pull me down. Im terrified, runing up the stairs like a panicy animal. It seams so real. I dont wake up till I get back to the top. I have been having this dream for the past 5 years now. Gods help me. Did you shiver? Are you afraid of the night? If not you should be. Things that hate us lurk there waiting for the day when humanity has totaly forgotten them... when they are free.
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
I have a few artist friends who graduate (college) with me and they plan on settling in the suburbs with family and all that bullshit.
I told one of my friends,
"I think if I ever do get married and have kids it'll be a real fucked up William S. Burroughs-type of situation. Sure, everything looks normal and wholesome but really I'm on heroin somewhere in Mexico having sex with guys."
Seriously, though being born without a mold is a good way to put it...
Live in the city.
yell at everything.
and break things... anything you don't like... those are the abilities we as counter-culture children dig special...