This morning I woke up early on my day off and couldn’t get back to sleep, lying in bed I open up IG to have a look. I was greeted by what since joining SG has been my only fear... what would happen if the wrong person stumbled across my SG or IG account?
Until today, I’d only told a few people about SG, those who I actually care about. Each person who I have told has offered me so much support and positivity. Telling me how brave I am, or how they could never do it themselves. But in the early hours of the morning a girl I went to highschool with found my SG instagram account. To say we didn’t get along at school is a huge understatement. I had a follow notification from her boyfriend and 2 nasty comments left by herself. “You look like a fucking ho bag!!! Cant believe you man!” “Seriously? Wtf cant believe 7ve done this to urself”.
I lay in bed panicking and started sweating... the entire town I grew up in will be in on it before the days out. I woke T up bawling my eyes out. I always knew someone would find out, but of course the worst possible person had to find out.
I was honestly freaking out so much I almost bailed from SG & IG altogether. Luckily I have such a good support crew around me including T but I also messaged my sister in law, the lovely @randum_ & @skella & @ambra soon enough I realized that I have no need to be scared.
I am finally at a point where I love and celebrate my body. Having a body, and being proud of it is something NOBODY should ever be ashamed of. What I have done to myself... is accepted myself, I don’t need you to accept me but I won’t take your shit either. What someone chooses to do with their life and body is their choice alone. The world would be so much more lovely if people actually listened to Thumper’s advice... if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all. I love the person I’ve become, inside and out, because I have fought to get here. I love my mind as much as my boobs as much as my stretch marks, every part of me make up the story of how I got to be where I am today. I’m not surprised you can’t believe it, because once upon a time I never would have thought I could do this either but I am so glad I did. I haven’t looked back since the day I applied to be an SuicideGirl Hopeful.
I feel sorry for this girl, I was going to name and shame her but she is really the sad one after all. I have hardly spoken to her since we left high school 5 years ago, and my happiness can cause such anger within herself. And at the end of the day, if she does show the entire tiny town I came from photos of my body, that’s okay too because I’m sure they will kick themselves for making fun of me back then, and if they do have the same reaction as her, I really don’t care one bit.
