sunflash

Well where to begin.

I once again have to say thank you for the notes and support. It really is appreciated. AS usual I have to say hi to Poledancer who was nice enough to put a note about me up on her journal, thanks babe it really is a boost to see out here.

And now on to the life lived.

Well I just got news that I got accepted for one position of the two I was applying for and a confirmation that with a resubmit in late June I will be qualified for both. I am more excited than I though someone could be. Finally I will be doing the work I want without the overbearing Big Brother of the Army and I will be making appropriate money for once. The guys who have helped me are some of the most consummate professionals I have ever met and may well be some of the greatest men alive.
My shoulder was once again re-injured a few weeks ago but is doing much better now with a lot of physical therapy work and icing. I was not supposed to go back to any lifting or other working out for a few more weeks but as usual I am back to lifting as of this week and feeling much better for it. The damage that was done in the motorcycle accident that I was in is still coming back to haunt me three years later but yet I will never stop riding. I would rather die young in a broken unusable body than live a safe (read boring) life just waiting to die of old age and inexperience.
Well leave is coming up soon and at no better a time. With some major changes happening in my operational sector soon it will be good to get out for a break. That and it may put me home in time to see Jess graduation. I was at her high school graduation and almost married her so it would be great to be at her college graduation and to meet her fianc. She has always been one of the most important woman in my life and I am so glad to see her with the guy she is with now since he truly makes her happy. I do wish I had married her instead of my ex-wife but hindsight is 20/20. He will make her much happier than I could, I just have to much wanderlust and to many needs for danger. That and I will be getting some ink done when I go home. I have the designs all worked out and a friends shop has a tattoo guy in it that will be doing the work for the cost of needles and ink so I will be getting a lot done. The sad part is that I was trying to figure out how I could get my nipples pierced and not get caught for the remainder of my time. I was really thinking that a little electrical tape over them while in uniform and especially when in body armor might just keep them safe but I am not certain. Any ideas?
I keep finding my self looking more and more at what I have lost when truly I need to step forward. I have been reading some books to improve my competitive shooting and grappling and both have made me realize how much I really dont focus on the right aspects of attitude. I have been for sometime trying to get my self to quit complaining and being negative when I talked to others about my self or what was happening in my life but it has been really hard to change those traits about my self without some form of reinforcement to make me realize it would help. The books I have been reading are that reinforcement. I have already noticed my outlook change and my shooting improve by using some of the principles from the book. The only down side is it put my one greatest self doubt and fear front and center. I have for sometime taken note of my reduced mental capacities and it has scared me greatly. I never used to have to take notes for anything and could remember what ever I was taught regardless of the subject. Now I have to write things down and remind myself constantly to do things and I only really learn things well for more than a few months if its something I am interested in. Well one of the things I keep being told in these books is to manage my life with a reminder page and list everyday. Well now I made one and for it feel silly. I have a small laminated check list of common tasks for me to do everyday and spaces to write in daily tasks. It has been a great help but is somewhat embarrassing for me.
Oh I finally got some good pictures in decent light so as much as they are shaky they will be going up today as well. That and when I find the ass-hole who decided to use a knife to drill a hole in the bottom of my mix cup that I use for making my supplements Im going to end him!!!! Not really but you understand my sentiments. If I were in the states where I could go get another I might think it was funny but out here where its four weeks to get another one it just pisses me off. In my mind its just childish and juvenile to destroy someone elses property. I really try not to screw with anyone and certainly not their personal property so it really gets my riled to have someone do it to me for no reason and then not even step up and own up to doing it. Well there I go being negative again. See I told you it was my nature.

Well I think I have ranted long enough so I hope anyone actually reading this has a good day.

-Zack-