This morning woke from an erotic dream about the Yeah Yeah Yeahs' Karen O, featuring, I'm afraid, double penetration. Following on from yesterday's diary thoughts, Karen tells me I am too soft and that I need to slam hard into life, and expect some bruises, if I am to get anything out of it. I run my fingers over her tattoos and am troubled to feel the gritty, uneven texture of her skin...
I manage to get up and take a piss before soiling my sheets with what the French would call a pollution nocturne, an expression I've always enjoyed. If this is what comes of dancing around my kitchen to 'Miles Away', maybe I should do it more often.
What else did I do today?
- Read 100 pages or so of quantum physics. Sort of understood it. Well, some of it.
- Made a lentil, pea and feta salad. Good, but why did my peas smell of fresh bread when they were cooking? Do peas have yeast in?
- Watched Lukas Moodysson's grim anti-porn nightmare A Hole in my Heart, a kind of cinematic vomitarium. It's more than a little wearing, what with its proliferation of shock-cuts to semi-abstract extreme close-ups, graphic footage of vaginal surgery and jagged bursts of noise. But this is obviously the point: it is a film about the horror, the misery and the violence of pornography. 'Choking chicks and sodomy,' as System of a Down put it recently.
I am reminded of Shiela Jeffreys' recent remarks about how the extraordinary ascent to popular credibility of a cosmetic surgery industry explicitly modelled on the body shapes of porn stars represents the most crushing failure, and the depressing irrelevance to a whole generation, of the gain of the feminist movement.
Giving up pornography was possibly the best, and maybe also the hardest, thing I have ever done.
Quite how this squares with the opening sentence of this entry, I'm not sure; I'll leave you to work it out...
I manage to get up and take a piss before soiling my sheets with what the French would call a pollution nocturne, an expression I've always enjoyed. If this is what comes of dancing around my kitchen to 'Miles Away', maybe I should do it more often.
What else did I do today?
- Read 100 pages or so of quantum physics. Sort of understood it. Well, some of it.
- Made a lentil, pea and feta salad. Good, but why did my peas smell of fresh bread when they were cooking? Do peas have yeast in?
- Watched Lukas Moodysson's grim anti-porn nightmare A Hole in my Heart, a kind of cinematic vomitarium. It's more than a little wearing, what with its proliferation of shock-cuts to semi-abstract extreme close-ups, graphic footage of vaginal surgery and jagged bursts of noise. But this is obviously the point: it is a film about the horror, the misery and the violence of pornography. 'Choking chicks and sodomy,' as System of a Down put it recently.
I am reminded of Shiela Jeffreys' recent remarks about how the extraordinary ascent to popular credibility of a cosmetic surgery industry explicitly modelled on the body shapes of porn stars represents the most crushing failure, and the depressing irrelevance to a whole generation, of the gain of the feminist movement.
Giving up pornography was possibly the best, and maybe also the hardest, thing I have ever done.
Quite how this squares with the opening sentence of this entry, I'm not sure; I'll leave you to work it out...
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
Eaten by a wet schoolgirl.... yep, you are right. That IS better!