sunday_green

so we went to see the last samurai on sunday night and goddamn it was good. i am fully prepared to hate tom cruise films at all times but it was breathtaking, even the bookending worked perfectly, which is a difficult thing to do without seeming sentimental. actually it's fully okay for that film to be sentimental. i was actually sitting forward in my seat gripping the chair infront of me at some points, which i now understand to be ridiculous but you know, emotive movies will do that to a gal. so all go see it. i command you. i also started to wonder if cruise would deserve the oscar he's being touted for, much as i'd love johnny depp to get it for his outstanding turn as captain jack sparrow. i bow to the captian and would happily walk the plank for him. even though that was just a literary invention.

so i'm in quite a good mood, my day off yesterday was spent mailing off job applications, and i have another two to fill in today. the only thing that troubles me about this whole enterprise is my tendency to sabotage myself. i'm not sure if other people do this to the extent that i do (but i suspect as much) but it's lead to many, many regrets in my life. although maybe regret is wrong because it can't be helps and it's generally only myself i fuck over.

in other news, harold shipman, that most prolific of serial killers hung himself and i actually had a conversation with my mother about it. i think half the reason she drinks so much is that she has no intellectual stimulus other than the daily crossword. i mean i can't remember anyone ever asking her opinion, and i was surprised to realize one day that gee, she must have opinions. but you can only help people so far, and if they won't help (or not sabotage) themselves then drink and ruin it is.

which is why i'm filling out a million job forms and not letting the sneaking feeling of utter inadequacy and ineptitude make me crawl back into bed for 3 days.

go resolve!