I was chatting with someone the other day about the different ends of the camera and how we prefer on end over the other. I had never thought to even be on either end until recently. I only thought of the idea because in a panel someone suggested to me that I find a hobby to take my mind off of the future clients that I will have to deal with. As a future clinical therapist I will have to deal with some really hard cases especially in the field I want to go into. The person said that having something that is yours and you enjoy doing will help in the matter of distancing yourself from the client enough to help them and not carry them in my heart. This was sound advice, not only for my future but for my present.
I was talking to my therapist the other day about how much happier I have become while behind the camera. A friend of mine had made a comment about how much I change while taking photos. For the first time someone noticed I was happy… I had to take a step back and think because this was foreign to me. I thought and realized she was right, I am happy behind the lens.
As someone that has had self-esteem issues since I can remember, for someone to tell me I look good and happy doing something was really a life changer. As my therapist pointed out, the camera gives a sense of control. Someone with self-esteem issues from lack of control for the better part of their life can find a strength and confidence in the control you gain from being behind the lens. It is pretty amazing at how my perspective on everything around me has changed. Hell even my front yard has become a whole new world. It has come to the point that I feel naked without my camera when I go outside.
Also the compliments that I get on a photo helps to boost confidence as well. I think this is because I have always been a jack of all trades type of guy and the master of none was my focus if that makes sense… To be told I am good at something is an amazing feeling even if it is from non-professionals it still feels good to hear how nice something you did is. I enjoy the way people comment on how well it turns out and tell me that they are proud of what I have done. I am looking forward to learning more and getting more creative with photography. I truly have found something that I can do and really be proud of. Even if it is just as a hobby, it is something that has become MY hobby and it is a good feeling!