Well, I'm not sure why I am putting this on here other than the fact that I am running out of ideas. It's obcious that people on here have more experience than I do so perhaps someone can help. At least someone can tell me surly if I am crazy or just plain stupid. Here goes....
I got a problem and I am completly lost on how to proceed about it. I met someone awhile ago over an internet forum. (i know, I know) While I never wanted anything more than just casual chat, it developed into much more. Despite my own mind, things got invovled. Over the course of a year, my own warning gave way and I really started thinking this will work and this was real. Problem was, she was in NY and I am in WA. She moved to NM and we planned for me to take a trip down there. We planned a date and everything. I was all set to go. All I needed was comfrimation that she made the trip and everything was ok. The day came and went, and I havent heard a thing since. I waited the holidays and I thought that I could forget about it. Maybe I could move on. I tried but it was a year and I can't forget that easily. I keep thinking some little thing has messed everything up. That somehow I have screwed it up. But like I said I am lost, I have absoltly no idea what happened. I have come to relize that I cannot get over this and that all I want is to talk to her again to set things straight. However that may be, I can handle it. I cant handle not knowing anything.
Am I stupid for trying to get in touch? Am I crazy for not letting it go? I dunno....
I got a problem and I am completly lost on how to proceed about it. I met someone awhile ago over an internet forum. (i know, I know) While I never wanted anything more than just casual chat, it developed into much more. Despite my own mind, things got invovled. Over the course of a year, my own warning gave way and I really started thinking this will work and this was real. Problem was, she was in NY and I am in WA. She moved to NM and we planned for me to take a trip down there. We planned a date and everything. I was all set to go. All I needed was comfrimation that she made the trip and everything was ok. The day came and went, and I havent heard a thing since. I waited the holidays and I thought that I could forget about it. Maybe I could move on. I tried but it was a year and I can't forget that easily. I keep thinking some little thing has messed everything up. That somehow I have screwed it up. But like I said I am lost, I have absoltly no idea what happened. I have come to relize that I cannot get over this and that all I want is to talk to her again to set things straight. However that may be, I can handle it. I cant handle not knowing anything.
Am I stupid for trying to get in touch? Am I crazy for not letting it go? I dunno....
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You have every right to be upset about it, and to want to contact her. She led you on for a year and now you have no way of knowing what went wrong. It isn't fair and you deserve better. I went through a very similar situation several years ago when I first started using the internet. I talked to this guy for over a year, we only talked on the phone maybe 4 times in that year, and he always had to go really quickly. Finally he came clean and told me that his name wasnt actually what he had claimed, and that it all started as a joke, and went to far. I'm like, uh, no shit, a whole fucking year too far. I was really hurt because I invested a lot of emotions into this"relationship" i thought we had, But at least I got some closure from it. You deserve at least that. *hugs*
Unfortunatly this was different. We talked nearly every other day on the phone for hours at a time. Everything that could be done was done over the phone. Expressions of love were exchanged many times, and it seemed it was real. This has been the turmoil that I have gone through in my head. Either I am so unknowning of people and this was a horrible joke, or something has happened. I cant beleive that anyone no matter how sick would keep such a joke alive for so long with so much emotion and involvment.
I just keep thinking that perhaps I have done somthing incredibly stupid. I tend to do this, it wouldnt be the first time. But yet again if it meant something I would imgaine that I would have been contacted by now.
I dont get people and I am stupid. This much i do know.