sumgirl

am tired.
am so fucking tired.

i engage in fith's occupation: am client whore.

btw: i love how it looks like morgan is checking me out.

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Tak has insipred me:

In a side note, I remember fully engaging with the whole concept of 'altered states of consciousness' a few years ago when I was studying some pretty hardcore theory.

One philosopher said that sleeping less than 4 hours a night really fired his thinking, and this intrigued me. Are we sleeping away all of our meaningful thoughts?

So I started to not sleep. I went for nearly 5 days once, which requires discipline, needless to say. I remember such abstractions. A person broke a glass. I saw it freefall in silence and slow motion, like the frame rate of an old b/w film. It hit the ground, and I *felt* every fiber of glass shatter and dissipate, leaving a trace of sharp shards. I just looked at it for the longest time, and it felt like the meaning of existence was right there, in that broken glass on those light tiles. But I couldn't catch it. And then it left.

Also, a darkroom. A red light world. I watched an image ease itself out of the chemicals and begin its life as a print. The details slowly asserted themselves, one at a time, as if they had all worked out the order before they appeared. I remember prodding it with those white plastic tong things, jostling it around in the liquid, waiting for it to do its thing.

Not sleeping. Heres to it.