Since my last blog I did hear from Rob.......
It turns out he was waiting for me to initiate contact and vise versa. I feel really bad because of the miss communication and from what it sounded like he felt even worse about it and thought I was pulling away in a sense. So everything is ok....... Well........ I have a confession to make SG and this confession came out the other night when I was with Rob........ I though it was the demise of what Rob and I have going........
Monday night we started The Fast and The Furious marathon; I call it this because he has never seen the Fast series and he wants to see Fast Five. I told him he has to see the others in sequence or it's not going to make much sense, so he agreed and we started it Monday night. Since I had been sick for the past week and a half he made me some soup and we watched the first movie. After the movie was done we watched an episode of Top Gear and talked as always
Our blossoming relationship was the hot topic of the evening, I mentioned how much the age difference had bothered me up until now and he got a little worried that I was going to bounce out. I told him that I am not going to go anywhere and that I had plans in about 2 months and that I was going to decide whether I was going to stay or go. He started to worry and we both got extremely emotional, I reassured him that I am not going to leave and that my plan is asking him to be in a relationship with me. I told him that I wanted to wait for 3 months so that I know it's not going to turn out like the rest of the relationships I have had and he totally understood.
It was getting really late and he needed to take me home, however, while we were trying to leave things were getting a little hot and heavy between us. He expressed how he is afraid of me finding a younger, hotter stud to replace him with. I looked at him and told him that I had to tell him something and I completely broke down in tears, he grabbed me and hugged me, I tried pushing away and he told me to please not do that and to tell him whats on my mind. I told him that I had slept with someone else about a week ago Saturday, the weekend that I had girl time with my friend Catey. It was me, my mom, my brother, Catey and I had invited Mike over which was the biggest mistake of my life. Rob asked me if it was Mike and I had said yes and I just broke down even more, I actually got to the point where I felt suicidal but Rob didn't know that. When I looked at him he had tears in his eyes and that added more to the pain, even though we weren't in a relationship at that point and time, we were both single, it still felt like I had betrayed him. He held me close and told me it's ok, that we were both single and that I was able to do whatever I wanted, he said that if this would've happened two month into this he would've been more pissed off and hurt. He thanked me for my honesty and told me he forgives me and that we will move forward and never look back at this. I couldn't stop crying, I was devastated, it was hard for me to look at him. I expressed to him that I am starting to fall in love with him slowly but it's starting none the less and that I don't want to lose him, he said that I'm not going to and that we are going to move forward and fall even more for each other. He said that he is still mine and that I am his princess, however, my tears still wouldn't stop.
On the way to my house it was an awkward silence, I saw him look over at me from the corner of my eye, he grabbed my hand and held it and initiated conversation. When we got to my house he walked me to my door like always and looked me in the eyes and told me it's going to be ok. He held me close and tight and I just cried some more, he wiped the tears from my cheeks and told me that I am still his princess and that's not going to change, he also said this is not good bye this is until next time and that he will see me on Wednesday. He gave me a kiss and walked to his truck and before he got in he turned around and waved and I did the same, when I got inside I broke down even more, my sister came out to check on me and asked me what was going on, I told her the whole story and she was like oh man.
I got real lucky Monday night, even though I was single at the time I was extremely foolish and now know the powers of alcohol since we were all drinking that night. Rob is so amazing and to be quite honest SG I can't see myself without him....... It's not that I can't see myself without him, I don't want to see myself without him. He has my heart in his hand........
It turns out he was waiting for me to initiate contact and vise versa. I feel really bad because of the miss communication and from what it sounded like he felt even worse about it and thought I was pulling away in a sense. So everything is ok....... Well........ I have a confession to make SG and this confession came out the other night when I was with Rob........ I though it was the demise of what Rob and I have going........
Monday night we started The Fast and The Furious marathon; I call it this because he has never seen the Fast series and he wants to see Fast Five. I told him he has to see the others in sequence or it's not going to make much sense, so he agreed and we started it Monday night. Since I had been sick for the past week and a half he made me some soup and we watched the first movie. After the movie was done we watched an episode of Top Gear and talked as always
Our blossoming relationship was the hot topic of the evening, I mentioned how much the age difference had bothered me up until now and he got a little worried that I was going to bounce out. I told him that I am not going to go anywhere and that I had plans in about 2 months and that I was going to decide whether I was going to stay or go. He started to worry and we both got extremely emotional, I reassured him that I am not going to leave and that my plan is asking him to be in a relationship with me. I told him that I wanted to wait for 3 months so that I know it's not going to turn out like the rest of the relationships I have had and he totally understood.
It was getting really late and he needed to take me home, however, while we were trying to leave things were getting a little hot and heavy between us. He expressed how he is afraid of me finding a younger, hotter stud to replace him with. I looked at him and told him that I had to tell him something and I completely broke down in tears, he grabbed me and hugged me, I tried pushing away and he told me to please not do that and to tell him whats on my mind. I told him that I had slept with someone else about a week ago Saturday, the weekend that I had girl time with my friend Catey. It was me, my mom, my brother, Catey and I had invited Mike over which was the biggest mistake of my life. Rob asked me if it was Mike and I had said yes and I just broke down even more, I actually got to the point where I felt suicidal but Rob didn't know that. When I looked at him he had tears in his eyes and that added more to the pain, even though we weren't in a relationship at that point and time, we were both single, it still felt like I had betrayed him. He held me close and told me it's ok, that we were both single and that I was able to do whatever I wanted, he said that if this would've happened two month into this he would've been more pissed off and hurt. He thanked me for my honesty and told me he forgives me and that we will move forward and never look back at this. I couldn't stop crying, I was devastated, it was hard for me to look at him. I expressed to him that I am starting to fall in love with him slowly but it's starting none the less and that I don't want to lose him, he said that I'm not going to and that we are going to move forward and fall even more for each other. He said that he is still mine and that I am his princess, however, my tears still wouldn't stop.
On the way to my house it was an awkward silence, I saw him look over at me from the corner of my eye, he grabbed my hand and held it and initiated conversation. When we got to my house he walked me to my door like always and looked me in the eyes and told me it's going to be ok. He held me close and tight and I just cried some more, he wiped the tears from my cheeks and told me that I am still his princess and that's not going to change, he also said this is not good bye this is until next time and that he will see me on Wednesday. He gave me a kiss and walked to his truck and before he got in he turned around and waved and I did the same, when I got inside I broke down even more, my sister came out to check on me and asked me what was going on, I told her the whole story and she was like oh man.
I got real lucky Monday night, even though I was single at the time I was extremely foolish and now know the powers of alcohol since we were all drinking that night. Rob is so amazing and to be quite honest SG I can't see myself without him....... It's not that I can't see myself without him, I don't want to see myself without him. He has my heart in his hand........
I hope that whatever happens though that you are happy right now