suicidexcult

so the day started off fixing my resume around 6pm when inspiration hit. time to get some beer. so my buddy matt walked across the street with me to the liquor store. i had my hands full with my cases of negra modelo and guiness when i noticed the most hah-mazing looking girl walk by the door of the place. i grabbed matt as he was paying and said oh my god man, look at that! my heart just stopped. she was wearing skin tight diesel jeans, lots of belts and buckles and some crazy ass shirt. high heeled shoes and long black hair with pink streaks in it. uber scene girl. she was walking across the street with the swagger you dont see in a woman unless shes a prostitute in a skin flick. her ass could sink a thousand ships...but her face? only caught a slight glimpse...so matt tells me he wants some pizza, and that is where she went in across the street. there are a few people staring off in her direction, she definatley turned some heads. so we walk across the street where she is ordering a slice of pizza and she looks up at me and what happened next was real horror show. i bit down so hard into my friends shoulder and ran behind him dragging my cases of beer careful not to drop them and contain my laughter all at once. as i look around it is obvious i am not the only one who was duped. well, suffice to say he made a very attractive woman from behind. naturally i sustained a good hearted ribbing from my friend and even more so from myself. truly one of the funniest moments ever. ever! so i began to down my case of guiness and question to myself, would i do a tranny? surely youve seen maury where they do the "is this a man or a woman" show. and id say in almost every case i can tell, theres something just, i dunno, slightly wrong in the facial area and they look like a pretty woman with downs syndrome. i always think, ew, no thanks. but then there was a few that were men, but you could never ever tell. so i started thinking ok, i would never be able to tell this in a bar, and he has no dick, would i do it? what does post op vag feel like? i got to talking with a friend and apparently its no bueno. it cant self lubricate so it means ill be spitting on it more than a llama with a bucket of skole. and they say it doesnt even go very deep either. so alas, my curiosity of doing a tranny is dead in the water....then we hit up the capitol hill bars and caught a clockwork orange at the egyptian. i forgot how much i truly love that movie...enough incoherent rambling. i got a hangover...time for a burrito...