suicidetherapy

So, there is this crawl space that runs across the room, and the tiny little door to access it is right next to this computer. And there are some kind of Unspecified Rodents in the crawl space. And they are loud; clawing, thrashing and chewing. They are having a coke party in there or something cuz its ridiculous with all the noise.
So, naturally, I begin preparations for The Great War between Greg and the Unspecified Rodents.
I turned the desk on its side, and strategically placed some floodlights around the little door. Then I fashioned a crude spear out of a broomstick and a steak-knife. The plan was that I would wait for them to start jumping around in there and then bust open the doors and blind them with the lights, at which point I could use the spear to...well, kill them. I know, I know...very classy.
Anyhow, they start with the noise, I get myself psyched and bust open the doors with a fierce battlecry. And sitting right there is the cutest fucking little squirrel creature thingie I have ever seen. And, its not even frightened; it just sits there staring at me. And I'm just standing there with this ridiculous stick thing in my hand and that dumb expression on my face like "how could I have been such an evil jerk".
Needless to say, the Now-Specified Rodent happily frolicks in the crawl space at his leisure, and I continue to sit here, being very....manly.