suicide_blonde

Just had the following awkward conversation with the woman ahead of me at the post office:

Woman-"It sure looks like you're wearing falsies."

Me- (Quickly glances down at chest and chuckles uncomfortably.) "Nope, they're all mine."

Woman-"I wish I were that lucky!"

Me-"It's not luck, just good stuff from Victoria's Secret."

Woman-"I didn't know Victoria's Secret sold mascara."





Apparently she was talking about false EYELASHES...

Q: Are we SERIOUSLY doing shots of tequila at 4am???

A: Absofuckinglutely.

Just texted a client "Are we still set?" (as in "Are we still set for our appointment?")

However, I didn't realize that I'd mistyped the word "set" when I sent it. Moments later, I glanced down and realized that I just asked a 52 year-old woman "Are we still DTF?"

Thankfully, she had no idea what that meant, and I was able to cover.

The...
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I feel like the internet equivalent of a deadbeat parent.




I have never been accused of being Ms. Save the World. I'll even be the first to tell you that I'm rather wasteful, I leave lights on, I don't recycle, and I take the longest showers imaginable. What I don't do, however, is throw my trash along the highway so that nocturnal creatures will mosey...
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Little old Athens, Ohio is starting a Roller Derby League.

And this little old lady is involved.

Nothing quite like lacing up and hip-checking some girls.

And of course, drinking yourself silly afterward.



I think I'm getting a cold...

Wow...

I've been gone a long time.

Nothing much has happened though.

I turned 25 and drank like a Freshman in college, fresh out from under their parents' watchful eyes ...

I'm still rocking some sweet bruises on my chest from heaving over the toilet all night. Fancy girl that I am.

My liver must have disowned me.

And now I'm officially closer to 30...
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Badass weekend fueled by booze & metal.

Iron Maiden was EPIC, Dream Theater was great, the entire evening was incredible. I particularly enjoyed the dinner of Taco Bell, tall boys of PBR, and Twinkies. Needless to say, the boyfriend won major points for orchestrating the whole thing.

Earlier in the week we decided to stay in a hotel after the show and take Friday off...
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My phone is working again.

All is right with my world.

I am no longer suffering from a bad case of the horrors (DT's, shakes, twitches...call them what you will) from the lack of phone.

I am no longer getting the phantom pains in my thumbs from the loss of my "limb".

One hour on the phone with Apple Support, saved about four hours out...
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