Well I don’t know ow well I am going to be at this but it needs to happen. I have been working 12 hour days 7 days a week since October. Prior to that in August and September it was not every week all week but it was about 80% of the time a 12 hour 7 day week. While my job is not physically demanding, it is very much mentally demanding as I work for a large company who’s online retail presents is barely 5 years old. We are in what we call busy season which is usually October through march. Due to COVID we have been in busy season since June. On average we get 2k orders a day. Those of us that have contact with the costumers and process orders..... well we are a team of 23. With about 9 that are contractors for busy season. 10 of the 23 only process orders. The rest of us have do all the other things customer service related. I am the one person who answers customer emails. I have 400 emails waiting the queue every day. The customer calls are handled by the main call center for the business so we only deal with customers through email. Well I should say I. I am very burnt out. I took Friday off. Which we are technically not able to have time off due to a company wide black out but I needed more then two days with no work. I actually did nothing Friday. No cleaning. No chores. Did not set an alarm. Did not work out. Just laid on the couch playing animal crossing and ate lol. I’m still tired though....... Still worn out.
Personal life is not helping me though this right now. I’m being told “you have a nice little cushion of money. You don’t need to work like this.”. That’s not the point. The money is nice I like that I can but the things that i have considered “needed” but not “necessary”. But.... If i worked no over time, just my 8 hour day, the amount of emails and work I would be creating for my self is terrifying. My bf just says he wants to see me more. He wants to spend more the one full day with me as we only see each other on the weekends. So its basically Friday night, all day Saturday, and Sunday morning as we both have to get ready for the week. I don’t get a lot of time during the we to see him as again I work a 12 hour day. I get up at 3:30am to start at 4am. Then work till 5pm. The forced two 30 min lunches make me angry sometimes. So I eat dinner then sit for like an hour and get ready for be at 7 so i can lay down and just relax for an hour so i can actually sleep other wise it’s like I’m forcing sleep at 8 or 9. The bf is a night owl. As i used to be. But he gets home around 6 then most days he will fall asleep at like 7 for two hours then get up make dinner and either have time for him self to play video games or work on music till about 1 or 2 am then he will go to bed...... his two hour nap when he gets home never counts apparently. The logic is not there lol.
My mother lives with me as she went through a very nasty divorce a few years ago. She did not have to credit or the financials to get out. I did have the means to upgrade to a two be apartment at the time so that was that. She had to get the fuck out and I was more then happy to get her the fuck out lol. When I got the house she thought she wouldn’t be here long as here and he bf have been looking a houses and planning out a life. But things are moving slow..... extremely slow.
I am an extroverted introvert. I need alone time. I need space from other humans. I need days to not talk to anyone. I need to be able to wake up and just exist in my own space. Which I have not had for years now. I have lived on my how for many years. I have lived with significant others at times but with work and school there were times where I was able to just do my own thing and when you live with someone you don’t feel the need to interact with that person every min you are with them. You can do your own thing in the house and not feel like you are wasting your time together.
That’s all. I’m just full of words that need to be said but telling people you care about to go away isn’t the best and really were would they go? There’s no weekend getaways anymore. There’s no week or to vacations to be had or places to travel. So yea I don’t know how to tell people. Please let be be in my house alone.........
