It was a good weekend!
So yesterday I show up for a day of soccer thinking everything would be A-OK. Except i rely on high school kids to ref the games. I had 1 show up on time and 2 come later. I don't usually get pissedbut, i think it actually showed on my face a little when i was coaching and reffing my own teams game.
And speaking of my team. They showed up to the game in body but definitely not in spirit. WE SUCKED. and I am being nice. I have a couple of kids on the team who will one day be gay or that guy whom every girl automatically puts in the friends zone. (don't act like you don't know what i am talking about girls, you know damn well what the friends zone is) So these two boys are so sensitive and get embarassed when they make a mistake. I don't yell at them cos i know they are trying but what i can't stand is when they make an excuse like they are hurt and they start crying. There;s no crying in baseball...and for gods sake there is no crying in soccer.
So. we lost 9-1 EWWWW.
Game 3- Loss record 1-2
Now for the drama.
I have my very own stalker. A mom of one of those sensitive boys (age 34).
So lets start from the beginning, This mom, let's call her, Shamu
, has my number because i am a coach. How many txt messages can you send in a day ? Let's see 11 yesterday, 9 the day before 7 the day before that, 8 on tuesday or whatver, you get the idea. So i met her out in public on neutral ground. Let me tell you I was about as comfortable as that time in the prison shower when i dropped the soap.
Conversation something like this (paraphrased for dramatic interpretation)
"I am married," but "I am not happy"
I am attracted to you but i am not sure what you think about our relationship.
Is it ok that i drool while watching you coach the soccer game?
I have a tie and red heels in the car.
Yea I have 3 boys. an 18 yr old, 11 and 9.
My reponses?
Uh, uh hmmm, well uh. I um. WTF you were 16 when you had your first?
Christ.
So i am dumbstruck as this all happens.
THE KICKER! from TODAY!
This bitch (and i mean that nicely because she is just messed up but not mean) drives 70 miles. YES 70 FUCKING MILES to Hilliard to my soccer game at 10am this morning.
**sidenote its an open invite to anyone who wants to come watch a game. its free, just take 270 to Roberts Rd. turn right and then left onto Spindler)**.
That's right she drove 140 miles round trip without invitation sits by herself and gawks the whole game.
no double
"I loved watching you play today" you looked soo good."
"sigh i won't get to see you till friday at practice? I am going to go through withdrawals"
So now i am forced to come up with some type of excuse because i didn't have the heart to say "fuck off I don't find you attractive". Can someone preferably a girl for obvious reasons show up to a game and pretend to be my lover? Kidding...but kind of not.I mean TikiMonster if you're not busy etc...
oh btw.
We won our game today. 6-3. I am feeling pretty pumped about it because we won only 1 game last year.
GAME 2- Win !!! record 2-0
Hmm..
what else. I will update you more on the bahamas as it gets closer but June 6 through the 18th... god I can't wait. And fuck that romantic getaway shit, i am going to have a fucktasic time!
and now for something entriely different
Let's Roll
So yesterday I show up for a day of soccer thinking everything would be A-OK. Except i rely on high school kids to ref the games. I had 1 show up on time and 2 come later. I don't usually get pissedbut, i think it actually showed on my face a little when i was coaching and reffing my own teams game.
And speaking of my team. They showed up to the game in body but definitely not in spirit. WE SUCKED. and I am being nice. I have a couple of kids on the team who will one day be gay or that guy whom every girl automatically puts in the friends zone. (don't act like you don't know what i am talking about girls, you know damn well what the friends zone is) So these two boys are so sensitive and get embarassed when they make a mistake. I don't yell at them cos i know they are trying but what i can't stand is when they make an excuse like they are hurt and they start crying. There;s no crying in baseball...and for gods sake there is no crying in soccer.
So. we lost 9-1 EWWWW.
Game 3- Loss record 1-2
Now for the drama.
I have my very own stalker. A mom of one of those sensitive boys (age 34).
So lets start from the beginning, This mom, let's call her, Shamu
, has my number because i am a coach. How many txt messages can you send in a day ? Let's see 11 yesterday, 9 the day before 7 the day before that, 8 on tuesday or whatver, you get the idea. So i met her out in public on neutral ground. Let me tell you I was about as comfortable as that time in the prison shower when i dropped the soap. Conversation something like this (paraphrased for dramatic interpretation)
"I am married," but "I am not happy"
I am attracted to you but i am not sure what you think about our relationship.
Is it ok that i drool while watching you coach the soccer game?
I have a tie and red heels in the car.
Yea I have 3 boys. an 18 yr old, 11 and 9.
My reponses?
Uh, uh hmmm, well uh. I um. WTF you were 16 when you had your first?
Christ.
So i am dumbstruck as this all happens.
THE KICKER! from TODAY!
This bitch (and i mean that nicely because she is just messed up but not mean) drives 70 miles. YES 70 FUCKING MILES to Hilliard to my soccer game at 10am this morning.
**sidenote its an open invite to anyone who wants to come watch a game. its free, just take 270 to Roberts Rd. turn right and then left onto Spindler)**.
That's right she drove 140 miles round trip without invitation sits by herself and gawks the whole game.
no double "I loved watching you play today" you looked soo good."
"sigh i won't get to see you till friday at practice? I am going to go through withdrawals"
So now i am forced to come up with some type of excuse because i didn't have the heart to say "fuck off I don't find you attractive". Can someone preferably a girl for obvious reasons show up to a game and pretend to be my lover? Kidding...but kind of not.I mean TikiMonster if you're not busy etc...
oh btw.
We won our game today. 6-3. I am feeling pretty pumped about it because we won only 1 game last year.
GAME 2- Win !!! record 2-0
Hmm..
what else. I will update you more on the bahamas as it gets closer but June 6 through the 18th... god I can't wait. And fuck that romantic getaway shit, i am going to have a fucktasic time!
and now for something entriely different
Let's Roll
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
Fuck McDonald's and their freedom fries.
*points & laughs* Have fun with your stalker! Hahahahaha.... Seriously, just tell her to fuck off. That's the only way someone that pathetic will get the point. Grow some balls and tell her she's fuckin sad.