Location: The Olson Family backyard.
Time: 07:00hrs.
Situation: Scared, Stuck, Stupid...
So, we pull into the yard early yesterday morning and somehow in the fog we see the silhouette of one of the 4 rumoured black wolves wandering the area in search of what I'm convinced is human flesh. Orrrr... a section of woodland that isn't being populated by Wal-Mart and Extreme Pita. I'm being too wordy. We saw a wolf in the yard, and we decided that we were far too scared to walk back behind the shed to find it... so we get the brilliant idea to drive back and then we have the protection of Little White. At this point I'm already nervous as fuck because a) I've never seen a wolf before and b) what I -have- seen are those horrible 'When Good Animals Go Bad' videos where the nice deer attacks a Neon with it's hooves and busts out the windows and kills the driver. Either way, we drive back and loop the car aorund in the clearing and since we didn't see the wolf, decided to go back to the driveway and park. A decent plan... that is until we realize the wheels are spinning and "Holy fuck... it's rained for 24hrs straight... the ground isn't ground anymore.. It's soup". Let's take this time to review. We're stuck in the mud a football fields length from our front door with a bloodthirsty wolf lurking in the treeline completely hidden by the fog. She's somehow got the car on a soft incline which makes it impossible to recover... and apparently, if you floor the pedal in soft ground you sink anyway. We can't run to the house because the wolf will smell our fear. Clearly, the only forseeable solution was to call my mom in the house and tell her what happened.
"Hello?"
"Mom! Help! We're stuck!"
"... *sigh* Where?"
*hesitation*
"... Behind the shed."
*silence*
"How did... WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS?!"
No sooner than the phone slammed down did we see the birth canal stomping out of the house with her old nightie and rubber boots.
You have to understand that we were genuinely scared being stuck out back with the wolf around. But, nothing will ever be as terrifying as seeing the silhouette of my mom in rubbers and her "I just fed 8 frantic cats" morning afro charging through the fog so you'll understand how funny it is that in the midst of being -actually- scared, Kimberly screamed a horrified "OH MY GOD! SHE'S COMING!" because she knew what wrath we were about to catch.
After some snide comments about who was gonna push the car and who would sit inside and press the gas, we got down to it and managed to get the car unstuck and naturally because my mom and I were pushing the rear-end of the car, we got covered with mud as Kimberly honked a victorious honk and sped away. My mom and I followed... and as fast as my fear was telling me to walk, I could barely stand up because seeing my mom all puffed up doing her 'angry walk' PLUS having found a gob of mud in my ear made me laugh so hard. I had tears in my eyes by the time I got to the house and while Kimberly and I had a pretty good "That was awesome..."moment...
My mom went in the house to get ready for work and probably didn't say goodbye as she left later on. Hahahaha. Best morning ever.
-J. <3
Time: 07:00hrs.
Situation: Scared, Stuck, Stupid...
So, we pull into the yard early yesterday morning and somehow in the fog we see the silhouette of one of the 4 rumoured black wolves wandering the area in search of what I'm convinced is human flesh. Orrrr... a section of woodland that isn't being populated by Wal-Mart and Extreme Pita. I'm being too wordy. We saw a wolf in the yard, and we decided that we were far too scared to walk back behind the shed to find it... so we get the brilliant idea to drive back and then we have the protection of Little White. At this point I'm already nervous as fuck because a) I've never seen a wolf before and b) what I -have- seen are those horrible 'When Good Animals Go Bad' videos where the nice deer attacks a Neon with it's hooves and busts out the windows and kills the driver. Either way, we drive back and loop the car aorund in the clearing and since we didn't see the wolf, decided to go back to the driveway and park. A decent plan... that is until we realize the wheels are spinning and "Holy fuck... it's rained for 24hrs straight... the ground isn't ground anymore.. It's soup". Let's take this time to review. We're stuck in the mud a football fields length from our front door with a bloodthirsty wolf lurking in the treeline completely hidden by the fog. She's somehow got the car on a soft incline which makes it impossible to recover... and apparently, if you floor the pedal in soft ground you sink anyway. We can't run to the house because the wolf will smell our fear. Clearly, the only forseeable solution was to call my mom in the house and tell her what happened.
"Hello?"
"Mom! Help! We're stuck!"
"... *sigh* Where?"
*hesitation*
"... Behind the shed."
*silence*
"How did... WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS?!"
No sooner than the phone slammed down did we see the birth canal stomping out of the house with her old nightie and rubber boots.
You have to understand that we were genuinely scared being stuck out back with the wolf around. But, nothing will ever be as terrifying as seeing the silhouette of my mom in rubbers and her "I just fed 8 frantic cats" morning afro charging through the fog so you'll understand how funny it is that in the midst of being -actually- scared, Kimberly screamed a horrified "OH MY GOD! SHE'S COMING!" because she knew what wrath we were about to catch.
After some snide comments about who was gonna push the car and who would sit inside and press the gas, we got down to it and managed to get the car unstuck and naturally because my mom and I were pushing the rear-end of the car, we got covered with mud as Kimberly honked a victorious honk and sped away. My mom and I followed... and as fast as my fear was telling me to walk, I could barely stand up because seeing my mom all puffed up doing her 'angry walk' PLUS having found a gob of mud in my ear made me laugh so hard. I had tears in my eyes by the time I got to the house and while Kimberly and I had a pretty good "That was awesome..."moment...
My mom went in the house to get ready for work and probably didn't say goodbye as she left later on. Hahahaha. Best morning ever.
-J. <3
Aside from that, I'm doing well! Visiting my folks for Easter... overeating, oversleeping and overdrinking!!!