Conversations with strip club patrons----part one
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~me: Can i help you?
~man: yeah I dunno, i need another $5 soda. a soda. a soda. you're the only one in here i can talk to.
~me: what kind of soda would you like?
~man: soda pop. pop. coca cola.
(man looks at me suspiciously when handed his drink.)
~man: i made Bill Gates alot of money yesterday you know that? (shows me a handful of wadded up one dollar bills)
~me: oh yeah? how'd you do that?
~man:oh you know, but money doesn't matter to me at all, right? these are just numbers....you're a woman. with... see that?
~me: what?
~man: i can't count that high (laughs hysterically)
~me: ooohhhhh....(I try to act busy by washing glasses)
~man: Do you like...what do you like?
~me: i dunno. what do you like?
~man: i dont like these places. i just come here to get away. from....
~me: Bill Gates? i hear he's evil.
~man: NO!! Howard Stern! he won't talk to me, wont return my calls. he's gonna be president. ELECT HOWARD! but he's bad. bad. you think he's...
~me: a moron.
~man: yes he is. a moron. he likes those girls. the second coming is gonna hate him. two girls together is the devil. and when he comes it's like fire on them. he wants you.
( i raise my eyebrows, no idea what to say to this)
~man: I know what you like, you like. do you like John Holmes?
~me: uhh, (seeing where this is going) sorry I don't know who that is.
~man: oh well of course you are nice girl, you have purple hair. it's ok it's ok. who's your favorite movie star?
~me : Johnny Depp
~man: he's a mexican right?
~me: uh, i dont know actually, i think part mexican. maybe.
~man: i don't like the mexicans! they gave me a mickey! do you know? a mickey?
~me: like in your drink?
~man: tried to poison me. i know the truth. no mexicans...ugh!
~me: oh that's too bad.
~man: what? no no no no no, you're too bad! (winks) that girl says she's gonna do the devil to me. you know her?
~me: yes, she's cool.
~man: is that cool? do you do that?
~me: no i don't dance.
~man: too bad, too bad...but you know everything right? the truth? haha thanks for the drink. what is this?
~me: coke.
~man: right. (throws a balled up dollar at the mirror behind me and ducks.)
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~me: Can i help you?
~man: yeah I dunno, i need another $5 soda. a soda. a soda. you're the only one in here i can talk to.
~me: what kind of soda would you like?
~man: soda pop. pop. coca cola.
(man looks at me suspiciously when handed his drink.)
~man: i made Bill Gates alot of money yesterday you know that? (shows me a handful of wadded up one dollar bills)
~me: oh yeah? how'd you do that?
~man:oh you know, but money doesn't matter to me at all, right? these are just numbers....you're a woman. with... see that?
~me: what?
~man: i can't count that high (laughs hysterically)
~me: ooohhhhh....(I try to act busy by washing glasses)
~man: Do you like...what do you like?
~me: i dunno. what do you like?
~man: i dont like these places. i just come here to get away. from....
~me: Bill Gates? i hear he's evil.
~man: NO!! Howard Stern! he won't talk to me, wont return my calls. he's gonna be president. ELECT HOWARD! but he's bad. bad. you think he's...
~me: a moron.
~man: yes he is. a moron. he likes those girls. the second coming is gonna hate him. two girls together is the devil. and when he comes it's like fire on them. he wants you.
( i raise my eyebrows, no idea what to say to this)
~man: I know what you like, you like. do you like John Holmes?
~me: uhh, (seeing where this is going) sorry I don't know who that is.
~man: oh well of course you are nice girl, you have purple hair. it's ok it's ok. who's your favorite movie star?
~me : Johnny Depp
~man: he's a mexican right?
~me: uh, i dont know actually, i think part mexican. maybe.
~man: i don't like the mexicans! they gave me a mickey! do you know? a mickey?
~me: like in your drink?
~man: tried to poison me. i know the truth. no mexicans...ugh!
~me: oh that's too bad.
~man: what? no no no no no, you're too bad! (winks) that girl says she's gonna do the devil to me. you know her?
~me: yes, she's cool.
~man: is that cool? do you do that?
~me: no i don't dance.
~man: too bad, too bad...but you know everything right? the truth? haha thanks for the drink. what is this?
~me: coke.
~man: right. (throws a balled up dollar at the mirror behind me and ducks.)
VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
How have you been? How's the Fam?
Same 'ol with me.
Sorry I haven't been in contact, I'm just not real proficient at these message things. I admire your ability to keep up with them and continue to be interesting and entertaining with all the many things you have to deal with in your life. I'm sure I have half the eventful life you do and I still just can't seem to find the motivation to be social. Having a girlfriend changes things a bit, and I hate that I feel I'm neglecting any of my friends, I don't want to be the cliche. She's got me playing video games, and me being the obssesive type, you can imagine what I've been spending my free time doing lately. Pathetic. But I am very happy which is an improvement for the most part.
I was real happy to see that Micaela got her set up........... your next!
Always great to hear from you, can't wait for part two.
MDC on April 9 at The Showcase. I saw them last time and they were exceptional.