suburban_relapse

I have a friend that is in a really tight place right now. Her husband left her, totally out of the blue, and he took all the furniture and bedding and everything except the kitchen stuff. I'm bringing her some blankets, sheets and towels today. Poor thing doesn't even have a bed. Then their roomate who owns the house they were all living in kicked her out because he decided to sell the house, also out of the blue. She is moving into an apartment this weekend but unfortunatly I can't help her move cuz I gotta work.
This guy is such an asshole, he's a meathead, and he has a little dick too, so I don't even know why she's crying over it. Mike is such a pig....he asked me if I was gonna make my move now that the meathead's gone.Ha! He knows me too well.....but no, I'm not interested anymore. I think I only wanted her before because she wanted me. And she is a virgin so that can be really fun. But now that I know her better, she's too weak minded for me. Not because she's sad the meathead left her, but because she's a doormat and that is okay with her.

(In case you don't know, guys (in real life) never hit on me or even give me the time of day, so when it happens it's big news. Back-story to the next paragraph)

Oh yeah, last nite at work there was this kid (18 or 19) that came in with his friend and while they were up at my bar they wouldn't stop staring at me. This is odd because I am the only female in the whole club with any clothes on. Anyway, the one kid came back later and said they were staring because I look exactly like the girl he has tatooed on his chest. Naturally I told him to show me, and sure enuf, there I was! Same hair cut, same face, combat boots, ripped babydoll dress with a scarf, and a lip ring. He took this as some kind of sign, and lost the ability to speak so the rest of our conversation was pretty one sided. Anyways, he went back to the tip rail, but when the waitress told him to buy his hourly drink he asked her if I could serve it to him!! She started laughing and told him sure but I was married. I guess he freaked out like that was unbelievable. She asked him how old he thought I was (she loves to do this to people, although it annoys me) and he says...get this...19 !!!! YES!!! when she told him I was gonna be 28 next month he about had a heart attack. Jeez, am I that old?? Whatever, at least I don't look it.