subrosa77

I haven't updated in such a long time. I apologize for that. I have had a lot going on with me lately. I recently had a monkey wrench thrown into my life which has been a good but confusing thing. I went to Florida to meet some friends and my new family. My biological family. I can't begin to explain the feeling of intense love I felt from my biological mother, sister, grandmother, grandfather, aunts, uncles and cousins. It was a bit overwhelming. I bonded with them immediately. It was more than I could ever expected. I also met a couple of new friends in Tampa who were very cool and very sweet to me as well. They live the same lifestyle as I do and were very open and eager to show me what they had to offer of the fetish world in Tampa. I'm not saying that Seattle is a bad place. I actually love it here. I love the weather, the atmosphere, and the friends that I have made here. I just hated the fact that the minute I stepped off the plane home I was again on my own, alone. Since I have been in Seattle I have always been alone. I'm just a convenient friend or lover to people. I realize that people have lives and that I am not always the center of attention but I hate the fact that I am not important enough for anyone to think of me first. I have to always make the extra step to say....look at me.... I'm here... at least to the people that are important to me. So, I have been evaluating my life a bit and trying to figure out why I continue to get this type of behavior. Maybe I am to blame. It could be the people I surround myself with or a reaction to my submissive demeanor. I am not sure. All I can say is I really enjoyed being accepted an loved by people who didn't even know me. It was very spooky and cool all at the same time to instantly bond with my new family, finding out all the similarities and being embraced by loving arms. I will treasure the time spent there always. I have been asked by them to visit frequently and to think a lot about moving closer to them. They have lost 30 years with me and they want to try and have as much time with me as possible. I've got a lot of things to think about. It's not easy uprooting and moving across the country. I've already done it once and that was when I had nothing to travel with. Well, I hope everyone is doing well. Thank you for reading my deep thoughts.

~subrosa