What a strange day yesterday was...
I'm sitting in the commons doing some sketches talking to my buddy from Texas on the phone. I hang up with him and almost immediately, this older Ukrainian gentleman sits down next to me. Free country, whatever. We get to talking.
I'm not exactly the most approachable person in the world, what with my mutton chops and the look in my eyes that seems to scream "I'm going to punch your throat in" (especially since I hadn't slept the night before and there were a bunch of little kids running around and shit...) but this guy didn't give a shit. Sat right down and started chatting. He told me how he has been living here for six years. He had the most amazing teeth I've ever seen, or lack thereof. It was like this twisted steel horror-show going on in his mouth, with no front teeth whatsoever. It was sort of like Jaws ala Moonraker but in a more kindly old man sense.
At anyrate, he was looking for a beach to go to, thinking Cape Cod might be a good idea. I told him to go to New Hampshire instead for the lakes, because I just got back and all and loved it. Totally biased... After asking the time, he got up and left somewhere in a hurry, most likely to gnaw through some steel cables with his impressive molars I guess.
Not five minutes later, this Harvard dude walks up to me and asks if I'll complete a survey for him. Ugh... Come on, just because I'm sitting in the Boston commons with a sketch book means I'm a person of interest? Fuck.. I agree despite some internal hesitation and as the consent for said, it was weird. Basically, it was a question of morals and shit like that. He told me to look at a picture and then read a short story and fill out a questionaire. Easy enough I guess...
The picture was of an apple. A nice juicy Red Delicious, gleaming upon a white background with a rich umber stem and a happy little leaf. I studied that fucker, expecting to find something crazy within it, like Santa Clause fisting Delta Burke or something, but alas, just an apple. But the story itself, now that was the true gem!
"A man buys a chicken every week to eat. Before eating it, he masturbates into it then eats it. He has never gotten ill from doing this."
Whoa! I'm not the only one? Kidding kidding... But that's really what it said. I giggled, and caught a glimpse of College dude smirking. I flipped to the questionaire and it all made sense.
"Did the story offend you" "Is it morally permissible" etc etc. It asked me the typical: Sex, age stuff. Also whether or not I was a religious person (to which I replied "Hail Satan") and also if I was a vegetarian and why. I finished the thing, he thanked me and made his way to pester others I'm assuming.
I went back to drawing. Those kids were fucking loud...
I'm sitting in the commons doing some sketches talking to my buddy from Texas on the phone. I hang up with him and almost immediately, this older Ukrainian gentleman sits down next to me. Free country, whatever. We get to talking.
I'm not exactly the most approachable person in the world, what with my mutton chops and the look in my eyes that seems to scream "I'm going to punch your throat in" (especially since I hadn't slept the night before and there were a bunch of little kids running around and shit...) but this guy didn't give a shit. Sat right down and started chatting. He told me how he has been living here for six years. He had the most amazing teeth I've ever seen, or lack thereof. It was like this twisted steel horror-show going on in his mouth, with no front teeth whatsoever. It was sort of like Jaws ala Moonraker but in a more kindly old man sense.
At anyrate, he was looking for a beach to go to, thinking Cape Cod might be a good idea. I told him to go to New Hampshire instead for the lakes, because I just got back and all and loved it. Totally biased... After asking the time, he got up and left somewhere in a hurry, most likely to gnaw through some steel cables with his impressive molars I guess.
Not five minutes later, this Harvard dude walks up to me and asks if I'll complete a survey for him. Ugh... Come on, just because I'm sitting in the Boston commons with a sketch book means I'm a person of interest? Fuck.. I agree despite some internal hesitation and as the consent for said, it was weird. Basically, it was a question of morals and shit like that. He told me to look at a picture and then read a short story and fill out a questionaire. Easy enough I guess...
The picture was of an apple. A nice juicy Red Delicious, gleaming upon a white background with a rich umber stem and a happy little leaf. I studied that fucker, expecting to find something crazy within it, like Santa Clause fisting Delta Burke or something, but alas, just an apple. But the story itself, now that was the true gem!
"A man buys a chicken every week to eat. Before eating it, he masturbates into it then eats it. He has never gotten ill from doing this."
Whoa! I'm not the only one? Kidding kidding... But that's really what it said. I giggled, and caught a glimpse of College dude smirking. I flipped to the questionaire and it all made sense.
"Did the story offend you" "Is it morally permissible" etc etc. It asked me the typical: Sex, age stuff. Also whether or not I was a religious person (to which I replied "Hail Satan") and also if I was a vegetarian and why. I finished the thing, he thanked me and made his way to pester others I'm assuming.
I went back to drawing. Those kids were fucking loud...