So I was thinking about the concept of pets, which if you think about it makes no sense.
We're the dominant species of animal on the planet, yet we for some reason decide to invite lower animals into our homes to live with us. Not so they can serve us, so we can serve them! Dennis Miller once said if he gets to heaven he wants to ask God, "Where are the animals that pet us?"
Of course, I love my dog more than anything in the world. The old mutt is one of the things that truly makes my life worth living, and it makes me happy to make him happy. But if you think about it philosophically, it's nonsensical, isn't it?
I was just cooking up a frozen dinner my mom brought when I was sick, and looking at the ingredients, one of them is "chicken fat." They were developing this meal, and someone said, "You know what this needs? An added lump of fat!" Brilliant.
--------------------------------------------------------------
I totally stole this out of someone else's journal (I'd be happy to credit, but I've been tooling around and don't remember) and thought it would be fun. And a way for you to get to know me, if you care, which you probably don't, so screw you. Anyone else want to play?
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Dave
2. David (family)
3. Danger
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Being 6-4
2. I can make people laugh nonstop
3. I can spell like nobody's business
THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I'm so weak in so many ways
2. I'm poor and can't seem to get my financial shit together even though I make plenty of money
3. I procrastinate like a motherfucker
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Dutch
2. German
3. Retarded
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND:
1. How some people can completely lack self-awareness, like those idiots who try out for "American Idol" even though they sound like dying pigs, and men who wear tucked-in T-shirts two sizes too small
2. Why more people don't include me in things
3. Religious fanaticism
THREE THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU:
1. People who just STOP in the middle of a moving flow of people, like at the mall or a concert
2. People who lack even the most basic understanding of grammar
3. How women always say sense of humor is the most attractive thing in a man, but they're full of shit, because I'd be George Fuckin Clooney.
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Snakes
2. The possibility of being alone forever
3. The thought of losing my job
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. My dog
2. SG.com
3. Prescription medication
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. NY/NJ Hitmen XFL mesh shorts
2. College slippers
3. Quebec Nordiques throwback T-shirt
THREE THINGS ON MY DESK
1. Christmas presents I don't really want and can't figure out what to do with
2. Nyquil
3. Portable DVD player
THREE THINGS YOU SAY THE MOST:
1. "Yeah, but what are you gonna do?"
2. "Seems ill-advised."
3. "Oh, fuck."
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS AT THE MOMENT:
1. Shins
2. B.B. King
3. Beasties
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITES SONGS AT THE MOMENT:
1. "Caring is Creepy," Shins
2. "I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You," Colin Hay
3. "I Like to Play With My Balls," Nigel Mustafa
PEOPLE YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH:
1. My dog
2. Suzanne
3. McLoffs
THREE REASONS YOU'VE BROKEN UP WITH EXES:
1. I just wasn't into her enough physically
2. Boring
3. She had this annoying habit of sleeping with other guys
THREE THINGS YOU WOULD WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Fun
2. Intelligent conversation
3. Comfort
THREE THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Intelligent humor
2. Tall
3. Pop cultural awareness
THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T DO:
1. Keep my house as clean as I'd like
2. Drive well in Grand Theft Auto
3. Hit on women in public
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Camping
2. Movies
3. Dinner parties
THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. A woman who makes me feel alive
2. An end to my work burnout
3. Cash money
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Shepherd
2. Jack Bauer
3. Radio
THREE PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION:
1. Fiji
2. Italy
3. Maui
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Live
2. Leave something behind
3. Two chicks at the same time (Office Space anyone? Anyone?)
THREE WAYS THAT YOU WOULD WANT TO DIE
1. In my sleep
2. Killed by a bear
3. Riding a tactical nuclear weapon into a terrorist hideout
StrongMad out, fuckers!
We're the dominant species of animal on the planet, yet we for some reason decide to invite lower animals into our homes to live with us. Not so they can serve us, so we can serve them! Dennis Miller once said if he gets to heaven he wants to ask God, "Where are the animals that pet us?"
Of course, I love my dog more than anything in the world. The old mutt is one of the things that truly makes my life worth living, and it makes me happy to make him happy. But if you think about it philosophically, it's nonsensical, isn't it?
I was just cooking up a frozen dinner my mom brought when I was sick, and looking at the ingredients, one of them is "chicken fat." They were developing this meal, and someone said, "You know what this needs? An added lump of fat!" Brilliant.
--------------------------------------------------------------
I totally stole this out of someone else's journal (I'd be happy to credit, but I've been tooling around and don't remember) and thought it would be fun. And a way for you to get to know me, if you care, which you probably don't, so screw you. Anyone else want to play?
THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Dave
2. David (family)
3. Danger
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Being 6-4
2. I can make people laugh nonstop
3. I can spell like nobody's business
THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I'm so weak in so many ways
2. I'm poor and can't seem to get my financial shit together even though I make plenty of money
3. I procrastinate like a motherfucker
THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Dutch
2. German
3. Retarded
THREE THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND:
1. How some people can completely lack self-awareness, like those idiots who try out for "American Idol" even though they sound like dying pigs, and men who wear tucked-in T-shirts two sizes too small
2. Why more people don't include me in things
3. Religious fanaticism
THREE THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU:
1. People who just STOP in the middle of a moving flow of people, like at the mall or a concert
2. People who lack even the most basic understanding of grammar
3. How women always say sense of humor is the most attractive thing in a man, but they're full of shit, because I'd be George Fuckin Clooney.
THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Snakes
2. The possibility of being alone forever
3. The thought of losing my job
THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. My dog
2. SG.com
3. Prescription medication
THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. NY/NJ Hitmen XFL mesh shorts
2. College slippers
3. Quebec Nordiques throwback T-shirt
THREE THINGS ON MY DESK
1. Christmas presents I don't really want and can't figure out what to do with
2. Nyquil
3. Portable DVD player
THREE THINGS YOU SAY THE MOST:
1. "Yeah, but what are you gonna do?"
2. "Seems ill-advised."
3. "Oh, fuck."
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS AT THE MOMENT:
1. Shins
2. B.B. King
3. Beasties
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITES SONGS AT THE MOMENT:
1. "Caring is Creepy," Shins
2. "I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You," Colin Hay
3. "I Like to Play With My Balls," Nigel Mustafa
PEOPLE YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH:
1. My dog
2. Suzanne
3. McLoffs
THREE REASONS YOU'VE BROKEN UP WITH EXES:
1. I just wasn't into her enough physically
2. Boring
3. She had this annoying habit of sleeping with other guys
THREE THINGS YOU WOULD WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. Fun
2. Intelligent conversation
3. Comfort
THREE THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Intelligent humor
2. Tall
3. Pop cultural awareness
THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T DO:
1. Keep my house as clean as I'd like
2. Drive well in Grand Theft Auto
3. Hit on women in public
THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Camping
2. Movies
3. Dinner parties
THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. A woman who makes me feel alive
2. An end to my work burnout
3. Cash money
THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. Shepherd
2. Jack Bauer
3. Radio
THREE PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON VACATION:
1. Fiji
2. Italy
3. Maui
THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Live
2. Leave something behind
3. Two chicks at the same time (Office Space anyone? Anyone?)
THREE WAYS THAT YOU WOULD WANT TO DIE
1. In my sleep
2. Killed by a bear
3. Riding a tactical nuclear weapon into a terrorist hideout
StrongMad out, fuckers!