striped_eclair

WARNING: EXTREME SENTIMENTALITY FOLLOWS
Im single again. I hate it. Especially seeing as I cannot possibly hate him in any way for how it turned out. OK, so we'd only been seein each other for 2 months, but that 2 months was so intensely good, it was a shock to th system. I'm used to guys who dont communicate well, guys who are afraid of sharing their feelings, if not afraid of commitment. Berlin was different (yes, his name is Berlin, Im not makin up names for his protection or anything paranoid like that). The "lust stage" lasted all of 3hrs, and after only a week, we were already like an old married couple. This was not a bad thing - dont get me wrong, th spark was still there an we still had great sex, but we were just so totally comfortable with each other it was amazing - nothing we'd ever had before. He cleaned up after me when i was sick all over his bathroom floor, an i could fart on his balls an laugh about it (spooning, not during sex - that would be weird, even for me)
Anyway, he's half Australian, and had been jonesing to go back there since he came back here 3-4yrs ago. He had all but given up on th idea of being able to move, and had planned a 2wk holiday there instead. Then, 2 an a half wks ago, he decided "why the hell not?" so long story slightly shorter, he left yesterday.
I know it sucks, and yes, its breakin my heart, but wht hurts th most is that my own best friend doesnt understand why i still defend him an his actions, an why i didnt even try to guilt trip him into takin me with him. If he'd stayed in NZ it would've done his head in, and he said himself, I was th only reason for him to stay. But had he stayed for me, or had I tried to change his mind, he just would've ended up hatin me for it. So what else was I to do but be supportive? Yes, I cried - I cried so much I could be heard from th other room when he told me, but id rather end it on good terms now than try to convince him otherwise, and end later with him hating me for it.
Was I wrong to sacrifice my happiness for his sanity? After all, I'm giving up the best, healthiest relationship of my life thus far for it. And what is he giving up, you may ask? His friends, awesome parents that bring over baking (mum) and act like pirates when drunk (his dad is so cool!), his godson, a brand new nephew, great neighbours, a decent job, his beloved car (had seen better days, but he'd had her 8yrs an used to race her)...And what for? A chance to be back in his beloved country of birth, great weather and no idea where he'll stay or what he'll be doing. Sounds crazy i know, but what can i do? I did th same when I was 18 and found a job in 2wks, so I knowhe'll be OK.
It just hurts that noone seems to understand how i can let him go when he's up an leavin me...