I wouldn't exactly say that my life is unfortunate but I am not one of the few lucky enough to live in a happy home. My parents fight nonstop, my dad is one of the biggest close-minded prick assholes you will ever meet, and my sister is the most materialistic, money-driven, spoiled brat bitch that I have ever come across. She is obviously the parental favorite and I get blamed for everything. I'm the one who is the rebel.. who isn't living up to her potential.. I'm the major disappointment. When in all reality.. she is those things way more than I will ever be. So I tend to lock myself in my room and try to stay away from it all as much as possible but it seems to find me every time I open my door and sometimes it just comes on in without invitation..
I know I'm about to sound like a stupid emo teenager.. but hey, we're all allowed our emo moments..
There really is only one thing keeping me attached to my happiness.. and that's Tommy. He is like a little escape from this world that I live in.. He's the only person that doesn't yell at me. He takes me serious as a human being.. an equal. He tells me I'm beautiful.. all sorts of little things that boyfriends are supposed to do.. It seems that my opinion matters to him and that I am something wonderful and special and amazing that has happened to his life. It's really nice to get that feeling of love and appreciation from somewhere.. I really hope he knows that he is all those things to me.
Anyway..
The plan was that he was supposed to come see me in January for like 4 days before my school starts up. That's on the fourteenth. I don't think that he's going to get to for several reasons well beyond his control.. and that upsets me... quite a lot actually. I know it upsets him too.. So I was thinking.. maybe I could go see him.. but I only have like $115 IF my dad decides to pay me.. and that is no where near enough to go anywhere in that short of notice.
He's been sick for the past couple of days and sleeping a lot and I am in no way upset with him about this because I know it isn't by choice but.. He kind of balances me out.. and as odd as I feel saying this and as odd as I'm sure he will feel reading this.. he sort of actually is my other half.. he keeps me sane.. and I've basically been wigging out without having him there to vent to.. without having his rationalization and him telling me that I'm not over-reacting.. Tommy time is essential to the well being of Stassney.. and so I'm fucking falling apart.. and I feel like for no reason at all..
Aside from my selfish, greedy views on when I should and should not get Tommy.. I'm actually kind of [really really] worried about him. I love him. I want him to be completely healthy and happy.. and he obviously isn't right now.
That is all.
Stassney ♥
I know I'm about to sound like a stupid emo teenager.. but hey, we're all allowed our emo moments..
There really is only one thing keeping me attached to my happiness.. and that's Tommy. He is like a little escape from this world that I live in.. He's the only person that doesn't yell at me. He takes me serious as a human being.. an equal. He tells me I'm beautiful.. all sorts of little things that boyfriends are supposed to do.. It seems that my opinion matters to him and that I am something wonderful and special and amazing that has happened to his life. It's really nice to get that feeling of love and appreciation from somewhere.. I really hope he knows that he is all those things to me.
Anyway..
The plan was that he was supposed to come see me in January for like 4 days before my school starts up. That's on the fourteenth. I don't think that he's going to get to for several reasons well beyond his control.. and that upsets me... quite a lot actually. I know it upsets him too.. So I was thinking.. maybe I could go see him.. but I only have like $115 IF my dad decides to pay me.. and that is no where near enough to go anywhere in that short of notice.
He's been sick for the past couple of days and sleeping a lot and I am in no way upset with him about this because I know it isn't by choice but.. He kind of balances me out.. and as odd as I feel saying this and as odd as I'm sure he will feel reading this.. he sort of actually is my other half.. he keeps me sane.. and I've basically been wigging out without having him there to vent to.. without having his rationalization and him telling me that I'm not over-reacting.. Tommy time is essential to the well being of Stassney.. and so I'm fucking falling apart.. and I feel like for no reason at all..
Aside from my selfish, greedy views on when I should and should not get Tommy.. I'm actually kind of [really really] worried about him. I love him. I want him to be completely healthy and happy.. and he obviously isn't right now.
That is all.
Stassney ♥
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
janegeraldine:
This too shall pass. You are wonderful and beautiful an strong. The more crap we have to go through only makes us appreciate the good stuff more. Tommy loves and the two of you together will prevail. I am here for you. 
shaggyvixe:
I promise not to be gone that long again. You will overcome all obstacles if you choose to.