Last night was the first New Moon of 2014. It was also the first day of 2014.
I took this opportunity to do a lot of soul searching.
I cleansed my space and decided to read my Tarot cards, as always they were spot on when it came to my current feelings, past, and influences. They picked up on my depression, blocks in creativity, and fatigue due to recent health issues, and gave advice on how to overcome it all. The future is looking bright, and already one of the issues I was having has been resolved. I spoke to my case worker at WCB today, and she gave the go ahead to continue going to Physiotherapy. She also told me that once the second report comes in she'll be reviewing it with the medical advisor and they may end up putting me in their disability and rehabilitation program. I may end up getting re-training for another career completely covered, because my doctor has stated that I cannot return to the work I was doing before. This will allow me to continue on my path of self discovery and employment without having to worry about finances as much. This injury, his disorder I have, this body, has been a blessing in disguise. I have been able to throw away everything in my life that is and was making me unhappy, and hold onto and discover the things that truly do make me happy. I am very much still in pain, and still feeling lost and scared when it comes to my health, but everything is slowly working out. The main thing I need to focus on now is getting better, and getting my body prepared for the next hurdle. Physiotherapy starts again next week, and I'm hoping this will help the insane flare ups I've been getting over the past two months. It's been really difficult for me to get out of bed each day, and this is something I don't admit to anyone often or at all. It is a struggle, each and every day.
My Anniversary
When I was 13, I met a boy at school. We quickly became close friends. Bff's. He almost asked me to be his girlfriend many times. We had our first kiss when we were 15. I wrote him a love story. Again at 17. I always denied wanting anything more than friendship, mainly because he was one of the only friends I had had for so many years and the thought of a relationship not working out and losing that friendship made me hold him at bay. I had a long term relationship for 4 years until it ended when I was 19...I hate to admit it, but any relationship I held since the moment I met him had not worked out for a reason. I had him in the back of my mind, always wondering if I was missing out. If it was too late. If I would ever have my chance. So I ended the relationship I was in...(For more reasons than just that..And it was more mutual than anything else.)... And I contacted that boy I had known for so long. I went to his work, actually. I sat down and had a meal, just to see him. And he noticed...And he texted me that night asking me to meet him at work when he had finished closing. So I did. We talked for hours and hours, running around and being insane like we did when we were little. On Halloween of 2012 we held each other on the top of the world, protecting each other from the cold. He skipped all the parties just to hold me. I dressed up just to see him. We showed each other our favourite songs, and as far as we were concerned, from that moment on it was just us. This is the relationship I waited so long for, the soul I was meant to connect with. I know this after almost 10 years, truly, in my heart and in my soul. He was there for me when my best friend Alex died, from the beginning to the awful end...He holds me when I'm sad, which sometimes is often. He wipes away my tears. He takes me to the doctor's and hospital and cries with me, and for me. For my pain, because he wishes so much that he could take it away. He loves me like I never thought I would ever be loved. He is my shining star, my sunshine, my light, my heart.
And he got me the next book in my favourite Dean Koontz series <3
And he made me gluten free, dairy free breakfast in bed.
My baby love <3
And a photo to end the blog.
