Yesterday was my appointment with my surgeon to discuss my left elbow and wrist.
Short history: 5 years ago my friend fell on me. Nothing big, just a simple fall. I shattered the connective tissue in my left wrist, destroyed the joint, dislocated the ulnar nerve...And had to have like 4 surgeries in total to repair the damage.
In April of 2013 I fell at work (I worked in a kitchen as a line cook) during a Canucks game. I dislocated my shoulder and my elbow was black and blue from the fall. So was my forearm. Apparently I re-injured everything from the previous surgery.
In August I had surgery on my elbow. Turns out I dislodged a bunch of very thick scar tissue (It apparently looked like a tendon that had magically grown in my elbow...) so my surgeon went in there and cleaned out the scar tissue, tightened my ligament, and reenforced the nerve so it doesn't come loose. I had a lot of problems in the healing process because I have EDS.
It was a workplace injury, so WCB is involved. I'm off work completely. But they hadn't received the doctor's report from my last appointment and so I've been calling back and forth for 2 months...Finally got the report printed out and handed to me to give to WCB myself so everything can be worked out...But the point of this is that I haven't been able to go back to Physiotherapy OR get a brace for my elbow or ANYTHING because of this report. Which brings us to yesterday...
My doctor is pissed that the report never made it to WCB, because I haven't made ANY progress with my elbow because of it. So I have to go back to physio and continue with the treatment on my elbow before he touches my wrist.
And then I have an appointment in two months. Where he decides what surgery he needs to do on my wrist. Because "No amount of rest, relaxation, no injections or braces will fix this". Surgery is the only option, unless I want my wrist to continue to dislocate and stiffen and basically be UNUSABLE for the rest of my life.
But I'm terrified of surgery. My body builds up so much scar tissue...Physio for months and years afterward...I'm lucky this was a workplace injury otherwise this would be a lot more difficult. But dealing with WCB is a whole other stress...
He told me I can never go back to work there...He suggested telling WCB and seeing if they will re-train me for another career path.
But besides all of this...
I can barely even type this...It just hurts so much. I found out that a member of my immediate family is in between stage 3 infection and cervical cancer. She needs surgery before it advances to cancer. Which it will in a matter of months. January 9th is the surgery booking date- some time in March is the surgery I think.
I've been numb all yesterday. All today. I can't think. I can't breathe.
So, I'm very sad right now. I'm feeling the weight of my own surgery as well as hers. Mostly hers. I feel selfish thinking of myself in this all...
