Today I stumbled across a large number of things that perhaps set me off. Perhaps I was less susceptible to the bullshit than normal because I'm in that emotional section of the month. But whatever it was, I want to say something- Where did the respect go?
People have become judging hypocrites. They see something and they assume and then they proceed to form opinions that are incorrect simply because of what they see.
For example- while standing in line at one of my favorite restaurants with my fiance and my mother, a man standing behind us with four children was telling his kids that because I dye my hair I was a bum, a drug addict, and a bad person. I shit you not- those were his words.
Yes, my hair is pink.
No, I don't do drugs.
And last- although I currently do not have an official job I am not a "bum". I work my ass off on a constant basis to try and GET a job, as well as working with my art, clothing designs, and working as an editor for the local writers. (I may not be the best but I give it my all- additionally for free because I know I'm not the best.)
I have people assume that because I am plus sized that I'm some fat 'bitch' who sits and eats junk food all day and never exercises. I have people whisper that I must be one of those angry fat "bitches" who drive around in a van/car/truck honking and cussing and being unpleasant. I have people say nasty things to me in assumption. I understand that there are some ladies like this- who will go to a fast food place and make people miserable because "she is the customer and thusly better than everyone else". Who WILL drive and harass people. Who will be "bitches" fat or not- but there are a large amount of people who are NOT like this. But we assume.
On that note- I cook. I enjoy salads and fruits so I tend to eat them more than anything. I also dislike most "junk" foods. I think that they taste disgusting and rarely cave and eat them. I also have been "full figured" since the day I was BORN. I have baby pictures where I have more curves than some women. I run four miles regularly, swim, and do sparing/wrestling with my fiance. I get judged because I can't get below a size 16. And when people give their judgment they toss out respect. They think they know what I'm like- maybe sometimes I don't disappoint but most of the time.... I would like to think I'm not what people assume.
When I was working in minimum wage jobs I would have people 'assume' that I was worse than dirt in that I did not deserve their respect simply because I had a low wage job. That I didn't work hard- simply because it was a low wage job. And then, when I 'did' snap verbally or otherwise- I had no reason to because "I shouldn't have feelings."
I would get yelled at. I would get HIT (god forbid that I defend myself) - and I would have to put up with no end of shit from people who thought themselves to be superior simply because they were shopping. I had a lady who yelled at me thirty minutes when I caught her child stealing and just politely requested that they do not do it again instead of calling COPS like the lady deserved.
Recently one of the things that set me off today was that I stumbled across someone who said that
These minimum wage bitches can't even handle "black friday".
I'm not sure if this person has ever worked a minimum wage job through a black friday but it's terrifying. For people like me who are shy and have trouble in large groups- this is a fucking nightmare. It's fifteen/eighteen hour shift of HELL. Now this statement alone HURT. I came away from that job unable to hear a phone ring without bursting into hysterical tears. I can't go near stores in the holidays because I have breakdowns. But I've been judged because she considers herself better, stronger, and getting paid more. Everyone is different- black friday may be worse for some people what others. This does not mean that someone should be judged. I don't judge ladies who do porn even though I don't find it very respectable. (In this manner I will not go into detail. I think that modeling in a tasteful manner in a pin-up style is better- but that is MY preference. I understand that some people prefer different things- there does not need to be any judgment or rudeness towards either the person doing or the person who does not want to do.
I didn't ask to have the job that sucks. I HAD a dream for my perfect job. Hell I had a few! I wanted to be a freaking game designer. I wanted to design outfits for Characters. I wanted to have my own costume shop. I wanted to write fantasy novels and draw comics.
Instead I graduated early and got a job at McDonald's to put myself through college and ended up always telling myself "when I have enough money I can quit and go to school and get out of this." Did I ever get that chance? no. I was scammed by a school that took my $50,000 and disappeared. My bank refused to do anything because "it was an authorized transaction".
Four years later I can't even GET a SHITTY job, and so people assume that I'm not trying hard enough- That I'm lazy because I don't have a job, "any" job.
Stop assuming people.
Stop judging.
Just because I'm fat or have pink hair doesn't mean I'm some crazy or drug hyped 'bitch'.
If I have a low wage job then I'm dealing with EVERYONE'S nasty side- because they ASSUME that I'm not worth the common courtesy of polite respect.
Do me a favor- The next lady who is politely trying to help you even if it's not going well remember that she is a person too. She is helping you when your nasty ass might not deserve it. So if you are riding a bus and you are late for work and the driver is apologizing- don't act nasty. If you are shopping and the hassled lady can't help you- don't cuss at her. If you are driving- don't honk and get pissy. If your waitress is being a bitch- don't be a bitch back.
THIS WORLD DOESN'T NEED YOUR ATTITUDE- stop shoving it on people.
I wanted to say more but I feel so worn out an sad that I'm going to end it here with some parting words I hope you all remember (THIS GOES FOR EVERYONE)-
Be nice.
Respect people.
Smile.
Stop yelling or repeating yourself in overly loud tones- because they heard you and no one needs that.
Don't be an asshole.
If you are angry don't take it out on them. It's not their fault They are just there to help.
I agree that some people really need an attitude check. I've worked with a few like that. In fact one of them attempted to frame me for telling people her friend "smoked pot" (that friend happened to also be a manager)- For anyone who does something like that to a person I would like to say SHAME ON YOU. What makes a person wish to lie and hurt someone else like that? WHAT?
I don't steal, lie, cheat, or attempt to hurt people. If I hurt someone I attempt to make it better in any way I can. I assume that everyone is good until proven otherwise.
I just wish people would be nicer. I hate being treated the way I am. I hate seeing people going through trauma from something that happened to them no matter how horrible it is- I also hate when tow people who went through the same trauma will try to compare and best each other in it like somehow theirs was worse than the other persons. IT'S ALL HORRIBLE. a Bad day at work, or if you were raped. It's all horrible! There shouldn't be a contest of "how horrible was it" because if it made you sad or hurt you - it was horrible- someone shouldn't come up to you and say "well my bad day at work was worse because ___________________" and then make you feel worse.
I would appreciate it if the world did me a favor and started giving me the same courtesy.
Stop stirring the pot.
This world sucks enough as it is.