Great time at the meet last night. Met up with Dragonchylde (you people need to do things with this girl, shes just to amazing not to), Yikes and Maxwell_Demon were there as well, also got to see Elijah, SamanthaKayne and her man ironbhr, nice to see jonnytrrrash7 and Azurite again as well. So ya, I hope the halloween thing goes just as well, if not better than last night did. 
So, other than that lets see: The coaster is most definatley on the downhill again. I saw this one coming from a mile away though so at least it didnt sneak up on me this time. I hate it when that happens. Im also getting sick of everyone asking me what I want for my birthday all that damn time. First off my birthday is still almost 6 weeks away so its not as if its an extremley pressing matter. Secondly, I just dont know. I never do. Actually, what I really want for my birthday this year is a compass. I could really use one of those right now.
I looked back at my journal from a year ago and cant fucking believe things have been this rocky for a little more than a year already. Im not sure how i feel about all of it but it sort of surprised me so i thought id put this in here.
Thinking about so many things all the time now. Maxwell_Demon, Yikes, Girly, and Dragonchylde. These four people are always on my mind latley. Dont know what im going to do about any of the stuff with them. Just dont know. So many things in my head that Id thought Id gotten over have been re-opened. Things I thought were dead and buried. I need to get out of this place. In my head i mean. Dont know how to do that either. I want out really bad though.
Man, its a damn good thing my life isnt as bad as i make it out to be in these pages. Some things are that bad(sadly its the things that mean the most to me) but for the most part this journal is just my perception coming out so that i can stop keeping it bundled up.
The dream I had last night was less than pleasant. For the past couple years theres been this reoccuring character in my dreams. Shes this girl whos face i cant see but she has black hair and violet eyes. After her being in so many dreams im pretty sure shes the subconsciuos(sp?) representation of my desires and love. Anyway, she was there again last night. She stabbed me in the dream though. What the hell does that mean. Im usually pretty good at interpreting my own dreams but...................I dont really want to deal with this one. Sort of scares me, y'know? Wonder what it means.......
So, other than that lets see: The coaster is most definatley on the downhill again. I saw this one coming from a mile away though so at least it didnt sneak up on me this time. I hate it when that happens. Im also getting sick of everyone asking me what I want for my birthday all that damn time. First off my birthday is still almost 6 weeks away so its not as if its an extremley pressing matter. Secondly, I just dont know. I never do. Actually, what I really want for my birthday this year is a compass. I could really use one of those right now.
I looked back at my journal from a year ago and cant fucking believe things have been this rocky for a little more than a year already. Im not sure how i feel about all of it but it sort of surprised me so i thought id put this in here.
Thinking about so many things all the time now. Maxwell_Demon, Yikes, Girly, and Dragonchylde. These four people are always on my mind latley. Dont know what im going to do about any of the stuff with them. Just dont know. So many things in my head that Id thought Id gotten over have been re-opened. Things I thought were dead and buried. I need to get out of this place. In my head i mean. Dont know how to do that either. I want out really bad though.
Man, its a damn good thing my life isnt as bad as i make it out to be in these pages. Some things are that bad(sadly its the things that mean the most to me) but for the most part this journal is just my perception coming out so that i can stop keeping it bundled up.
The dream I had last night was less than pleasant. For the past couple years theres been this reoccuring character in my dreams. Shes this girl whos face i cant see but she has black hair and violet eyes. After her being in so many dreams im pretty sure shes the subconsciuos(sp?) representation of my desires and love. Anyway, she was there again last night. She stabbed me in the dream though. What the hell does that mean. Im usually pretty good at interpreting my own dreams but...................I dont really want to deal with this one. Sort of scares me, y'know? Wonder what it means.......
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
godsmoker:
It's hard to not let that stuff get to you, but I don't really have many dreams at all, so I wouldn't know what to do anyway. Your friends are there for you. Even the online one's.
dragonchylde:
Why are you saying sorry for? You have no reason at all to be sorry..sometimes I don't understand you chad..things go great and then you say you are sorry for something..I know I confuse you alot and I really don't mean to..hopefully soon ill be able to get all this crap in my head worked out.