storey

WARNING: Rant Ahead! If you have a heart condition or are pregnant please exit the ride at this time.

Ya know, just once Id like a thank you. for anything. from anyone.

Do you ever get the feeling that your meant to to do something? That theres something that the cosmic gods intended for you? ya, well fuck you and your pesemisitic view cuz i do. and i dont think i like it. not one bit. its fairly clear to me that the only thing im good at it helping people get centered again and get back on track to what they were trying to do before they lost it. its when im at my best, in a crisis. this is a good thing as it has helped me to develop really close and personal friendships with those around me. This is also a bad thing since it precludes me from making any new friends with out a great deal of turmoil before hand. Thats a problem for later. I dont really like being known as a helper or a stone to lean on. in fact I hate it. i hate being so reliable and understanding. I hate that i can understand people so well. i hate all this because it gives people the impression that im a down to earth person whos really laid back. and i am. but it makes everyone take me for granted. forget about me when im not needed. never say thank you. it sucks cuz i think im meant to help elevate people to that next level they are looking to get to. meanwhile im stuck in limbo waiting for i dont know what. nothing seems write anymore. every time something good starts in my life it suddenly stops and my life turns to shit until i help someone out. then it returns to it boring and mundane state. im sorta scared that ill be stuck helping others people with their shit while i go nuts with no one to help me. I cant turn to any of my friends for help (trust me it just doesnt work that way). maybe i can just sit and talk to the dog. damnit janet!

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