Bad dreams tonight. This is one Im gonna need help on:
Stars. Lots of stars. And then some dark shape swims in front of them and I reach out to touch it. The shape set my fingers on fire like ice. The ice moves up my arm and it hurts. Alot. I always thought you werent supposed to feel pain in dreams. The ice stops at my shoulder. And then everything happens at once. Memories run into one another. Birthdays run into christmas's run into playground fights run into akward first kisses run into worry and pain over something that never happened runs into joy and happiness over something that never happened runs into clumsiness that brings hurt to no one but myself runs into anxiety that turns my hair gray at a young age runs into deaths of loved and unloved ones alike runs into births of friends and family runs into something that I cant quite see. At this point I think everything just ran togehter so badly that i couldnt make it out. It was sensory overload. So much of everything that I flet as if I would come apart. No pain in dreams, huh? Then it all stopped, I had wished it away. And I was alone in a void. Thats pretty cliche'. But there I was and I heard voices. Whispering from inside of me makind fun of people that deserved it and didnt. And then the voices were directed at me though most of the comments didnt change. There I was alone in all of this and open to point that if anyone wanted they could look at me and see how small and pathetic I was. It was like being raped by my own memories. I was so naked and exposed. And then I realized that this is what I got when I wished the memories away. A brutal nothingness where I still had to face myself but in a harsher, more condmeing way. Something brushed past my leg and the whispers stopped. The void started to shrink inward and I felt cramped. Everything was getting smaller, or maybe I was getting bigger. Either way the walls of the void, do voids have walls?, were closing in. When I hit the walls everything continued to shrink/grow and the pain set in again. No pain in dreams, remeber? But this was eaiser to deal with by far because it was more physical but it still hurt like a mother fucker.
I woke up like blinking. Like it was nothing.
This one doesnt make a whole lot of sense to me so I think Ill need some outside help. If your reading this please post something.
Ther'll be no gettin' back to sleep now. So im gonna start reading Shardik and maybe that will help me fall back asleep.
Here's to ZzZzZzZzZzZz.
Stars. Lots of stars. And then some dark shape swims in front of them and I reach out to touch it. The shape set my fingers on fire like ice. The ice moves up my arm and it hurts. Alot. I always thought you werent supposed to feel pain in dreams. The ice stops at my shoulder. And then everything happens at once. Memories run into one another. Birthdays run into christmas's run into playground fights run into akward first kisses run into worry and pain over something that never happened runs into joy and happiness over something that never happened runs into clumsiness that brings hurt to no one but myself runs into anxiety that turns my hair gray at a young age runs into deaths of loved and unloved ones alike runs into births of friends and family runs into something that I cant quite see. At this point I think everything just ran togehter so badly that i couldnt make it out. It was sensory overload. So much of everything that I flet as if I would come apart. No pain in dreams, huh? Then it all stopped, I had wished it away. And I was alone in a void. Thats pretty cliche'. But there I was and I heard voices. Whispering from inside of me makind fun of people that deserved it and didnt. And then the voices were directed at me though most of the comments didnt change. There I was alone in all of this and open to point that if anyone wanted they could look at me and see how small and pathetic I was. It was like being raped by my own memories. I was so naked and exposed. And then I realized that this is what I got when I wished the memories away. A brutal nothingness where I still had to face myself but in a harsher, more condmeing way. Something brushed past my leg and the whispers stopped. The void started to shrink inward and I felt cramped. Everything was getting smaller, or maybe I was getting bigger. Either way the walls of the void, do voids have walls?, were closing in. When I hit the walls everything continued to shrink/grow and the pain set in again. No pain in dreams, remeber? But this was eaiser to deal with by far because it was more physical but it still hurt like a mother fucker.
I woke up like blinking. Like it was nothing.
This one doesnt make a whole lot of sense to me so I think Ill need some outside help. If your reading this please post something.
Ther'll be no gettin' back to sleep now. So im gonna start reading Shardik and maybe that will help me fall back asleep.
Here's to ZzZzZzZzZzZz.
missmorbus:
wow....that is creepy. maybe you are worried about how you see yourself and how others see you? i guess. my bad dreams are usually someone chasing me.
phoolsfire:
sounds pretty intense, i know what you mean about physical pain. i had a rash of nightmares a while ago. maybe your worried about things youv'e achived or haven't throughout your life or maybe just recently, have you been trying hard to make acomplishments that haven't been as fruitful as they should've? i don't know? i hope peacefull sleep finds you soon.