stompbox

I got a very serious sounding email today. It conccerned my penis. The email, in fact, assured me that chances are my lover is not satidfied with its current size. The email says I run the risk of being left behing (sic). Worst of all, it even said that I run the risk of being made fun of at the gym.

But thank god there's hope. New scientific breakthroughs have come to light that can offer help to someone just like me. Top doctors have discovered a way to increase the length of my penis by up to 3-4 full inches. This will require absolutely no effort on my behalf other than the mental anquish of parting with a lot of my hard-earned cash. I won't have to use pumps, take pills, or masturbate all the time (though hopefully it doesn't condemn me from doing any of these). All I have to do is use their product every day for a few months and I can't go wrong. Its all herbal, too, magic herbs that can specifically target the being-made-fun-of in the locker room hormone deficiency. I can't go wrong!!!


Okay, enough. In case you can't figure it out, today is spam-folder cleaning day. I shouldn't do that after a few whiskey sours, obviously. I'm done now, and thinking about bed, i'm such a party animal on friday nights.

I'm convinced now, however, that I've got to do something about the size of my breasts...