Wow today is like a really strange day. I saw Garden state last night, and i think it fucked with my head. So many things in it really hit home.
But i so connected with the idea of feeling again. It seems like i have been being numbed and fighting feelings for so long i sometimes dont know what to do. I realised some time in the last 12 hours that my passion for things had been being eroded away. Be it by meds my parents put me on as a teen, or holding back so much in my life that i wanted and needed that everything started to look monochromatic and blurred, but never with dominant shades of white of black even , just muted greys.
Lately I have started to see the colors again, and now i feel this need to again enjoy the freedon i have. I need it to rain and storm heavily i think. need to go out in the weather and feel connected.
So Here is a question for you dear beautiful people who i am coming to so appreciate. Is it better to be detached and "healthy" or be connected and fucked up. just curious, I think i have made up my mind, but it always helps to hear others opinions.
But i so connected with the idea of feeling again. It seems like i have been being numbed and fighting feelings for so long i sometimes dont know what to do. I realised some time in the last 12 hours that my passion for things had been being eroded away. Be it by meds my parents put me on as a teen, or holding back so much in my life that i wanted and needed that everything started to look monochromatic and blurred, but never with dominant shades of white of black even , just muted greys.
Lately I have started to see the colors again, and now i feel this need to again enjoy the freedon i have. I need it to rain and storm heavily i think. need to go out in the weather and feel connected.
So Here is a question for you dear beautiful people who i am coming to so appreciate. Is it better to be detached and "healthy" or be connected and fucked up. just curious, I think i have made up my mind, but it always helps to hear others opinions.
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[Edited on Sep 09, 2004 11:32PM]