stinkerbell

Things are a changing here

1) We are going out a lot more. We have our friends Mike and Angie who keep wanting us to come over and play a drinking game called bump and grind. I dont need to tell you where that is going to lead... tee hee

2) We had an amazing night with this hot thing, Shem. She is one sexy momma and just so sweet and she is so great. We are going to try to see her next week. I hope we do because I cant wait to taste those sweet lips of hers. She has Angelina Jolie lips. She is in an open relationship like us. She likes to call boys under 25 guppies and she has had her share... think Samatha from sex in the city.

3) We has a great time Friday night with this hottie. Her name is Kim. She came over Friday night. Irish was first attracted to her and I did not feel too much of a spark. Then we were all goofing around and well... one thing led to another and Irish had a fantasy of girl on girl action... ok just a lot of kissing... but still amazing. Anyway, she is just like us. I am starting to think we are "Awesomely original" I mean ployamory is the best. It is so cool to find someone like her who gets it. Most people say they get it and then they cant handle their partner being with someone else. I know before she came over, that Irish and I had a long talk and I told him about the issues I was having and he being the perfect man that he is told me he would call it all off in a heartbeat if I did not feel right about it. I am so glad he didnt

4) Sadly, I had to learn a hard lesson over the last 2 weeks. Sometimes in life relationships end quietly, coldly slowly. I have been looking for this poem I read once in college about a couple who slowly grew apart until one day the realize that there was a wall between them. This has happen to me. I guess in a way I saw it happening and I wanted to stop it but in the end it comes down to what I said in my previous entry. I have to be who I am. Sadly, this person, for whatever reason has a problem with that. They say actions speak louder than words, and well, this was the case. I wrote her an e-mail and was sent back a cold icy response. In short telling me "Do as I say, not as I do". Though I love my friend, it is time to let her spread her wings and fly. I will always respect and encourage her to travel the paths which she needs to. It is just very much like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - When Willy Wonka came back to his father's house it was gone. I can't promis when our paths cross again if I will be there. Maybe there will be just a wonderful memory. I will always hold the memories we have. Sadly, distance was a problem.... and she just slipped away in the night. I wish I just knew for once - she could love me for who I am and not what she wanted me to be. I cant live by the double standards.

So here is who I am - I am Buffy. I am who I am .... to borrow from the musical RENT

Take me for what I am
Who I was meant to be
And if you if give a damn
Take me baby or leave me

A tiger in cage can never see the sun
This diva needs her stage baby
Lets have fun
You are the one I choose
Folks would kill to fill your shoes
You love the lime light too baby
So be mine or dont waste my time
Saying honey bear are you still my baby

Take me for what I am
Who I was meant to be
And if you if give a damn
Take me baby or leave me

No way I can be what I 'm not
But hey dont you want your girl hot

I am not going to give up SG. So if anyone thinks this delecration is some kind of good bye it isnt. But as I said before, I am going to be a little more selfish and not hide who I am to please anyone. Dont like what I do, or what I say or dont like me - please dont read it is as simple as that.

Much love

Irish's loving wife - Buffy