So I used to write long and interesting blogs. I also used to be funny... now? Im just lazy. Toss up a couple of pictures and there ya go. I think it's because I looked at my friends list and either all of my friends are zotted or quit... or the names arent familiar. Like I added people who never bothered to speak to me. No big I guess.
Anyway. The other day I was at work, This couple came in and the dude showed me his arm. Hes all, "hey how much would you charge to do this tattoo?" My first reaction was to eat poison and die. My second was to barf on the offending tattoo. The third, which is what I actually said after I stopped wincing, was to say, "well, I cant really price something like that because its so different a style.. none of us could replicate it." In fact, I wasn't sure my 3 year old neice could either. It was the harley davidson logo with the eagle. Cherry creek flash with roses. The lines were all blobby and Im pretty sure Cris crinkle of big dogz could have done a better job. So I showed the dude my portfolio and explained that i would have made my lines a little.. different and not colored the entire tattoo 3 solid colors. Around this point, his wife was looking really impressed. So she says to me.. she says, "Hey can you tattoo a realistic looking moose.. now I want this moose to have these eyes (points to husbands big brown eyes) And they have to be exactly like his." Her husband is looming over her at probably 6 feet tall and Im starting to make a connection and Im thinking I know where this is going. Then she says," and... I need this moose to be holding a portrait of a tootsie roll." This suprises me and Im like, "uhhh really?" And shes like," yes. I want it to be in the wrapper... no wait, half in the wrapper. Maybe not such a dark brown, but you have to be able to tell its a tootsie roll." So at this point, i'm thinking..Wierd. But do-able. Then her husband gets this sly look and he gives her the pervy once over and says out of the side of his mouth, "and it wouldn't hurt none if the moose were lickin' it." and the wife slaps him on the arm and gives him the ol' "not here" wife glare. I smile, give them my email, a guestimate and wish them well. But in my head i'm thinking, "is this an ass eating joke?" And I think about this tattoo all the time. I can come to no other conclusion. What am I missing? Ass eating? what? Opinions?
Also, James' sister's cat tried to destroy a 150$ dress. I would like to set that peice of crap on fire. Worst cat ever.
Anyway. The other day I was at work, This couple came in and the dude showed me his arm. Hes all, "hey how much would you charge to do this tattoo?" My first reaction was to eat poison and die. My second was to barf on the offending tattoo. The third, which is what I actually said after I stopped wincing, was to say, "well, I cant really price something like that because its so different a style.. none of us could replicate it." In fact, I wasn't sure my 3 year old neice could either. It was the harley davidson logo with the eagle. Cherry creek flash with roses. The lines were all blobby and Im pretty sure Cris crinkle of big dogz could have done a better job. So I showed the dude my portfolio and explained that i would have made my lines a little.. different and not colored the entire tattoo 3 solid colors. Around this point, his wife was looking really impressed. So she says to me.. she says, "Hey can you tattoo a realistic looking moose.. now I want this moose to have these eyes (points to husbands big brown eyes) And they have to be exactly like his." Her husband is looming over her at probably 6 feet tall and Im starting to make a connection and Im thinking I know where this is going. Then she says," and... I need this moose to be holding a portrait of a tootsie roll." This suprises me and Im like, "uhhh really?" And shes like," yes. I want it to be in the wrapper... no wait, half in the wrapper. Maybe not such a dark brown, but you have to be able to tell its a tootsie roll." So at this point, i'm thinking..Wierd. But do-able. Then her husband gets this sly look and he gives her the pervy once over and says out of the side of his mouth, "and it wouldn't hurt none if the moose were lickin' it." and the wife slaps him on the arm and gives him the ol' "not here" wife glare. I smile, give them my email, a guestimate and wish them well. But in my head i'm thinking, "is this an ass eating joke?" And I think about this tattoo all the time. I can come to no other conclusion. What am I missing? Ass eating? what? Opinions?
Also, James' sister's cat tried to destroy a 150$ dress. I would like to set that peice of crap on fire. Worst cat ever.
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And how are you going to make a realistic moose hold a tootsie roll anyway?