stillbreathing

So...things that have made me laugh this week...

1. AD FOR "EIGHT FEET BELOW" - This is the brand new and exciting Disney AD-Venture featuring two of the most Oscar Caliber actors of our times: Mr. Walker and Mr. Biggs. One critic described the film as, "Paul Walker's best performance yet," and I immediately choked on what I was drinking. Which I'm sure was something cheap.

2. STRONG MAD VIDEO PODCAST - Yes, a new Podcast had entered my little, sad world (I'm slowly becoming addicted) and it's of "Strong Mad." Don't know who that is? Go to itunes and find out. Or don't, if you're scared. Scared to laugh.

3. MY FRIEND'S VALENTINE - So my friend "Janice" (which is what we'll call her....being that that's her name) admits that she's not the number one "Valentine's Day Girl" (I think that title must surely go to Richard Simmons. She seems like a lovely holidays lady), but still wants her boyfriend to do something for her. You know, in the vain of the holiday. So he then tried to explain why he got his gift (more on that later) for her, and then unveiled it.... A....wait for it...wait....A.... printer. Oh, how romantic. It's like getting a Dreidel for Halloween. Just stupid.

4. FINAL DESTINATION 3 - The fact that it was made at all makes me laugh. I have to laugh. Cause if I don't, I'll cry.

5. KARL PILKINGTON - The hilarious ramblings of Mr. Pilkington can be heard on "THE RICKY GERVAIS SHOW" which is a HIGH-Larious Podcast (see, again with the Podcasts...) that is going into it's final episode until they break to shoot the second series of "Extras." That is, Ricky and Stephen will break to do "Extras." I'm assuming Karl will break for more time writing in his diary and dreaming up more "Monkey News" stories.

6. David Hasselhoff. Because, reading the new issue of EW I saw that I'm not the only one who think the very mention of David's name is pure hilarity.

7. TOM CRUISE - Surely, he even must know that he's not gonna get his career back EVER again. He's a tabloid fixture. He's the male Paris Hilton now. Which sucks, cause I've always thought of him as a very underrated actor. Always considered a "star," but rarely a "great actor." Now he's just a loon. And Dawson's Katie is along for the wild, fucked up ride. Brillant.


VALENTINE'S DEFINITIONS

"Don't go crazy on me this year..."
Go crazy...
"We don't really have to do anything. It's not like it's a real holiday anyway..."
You're about to be single.
"But...I didn't get you ANYTHING..."
You are NOW single
"I'm not really a 'Valentine's Kinda girl'....
Don't you fucking get me a printer...
"Do you know how much dinner is nowadays?"
You're dating a douchbag.
"I thought that my gift this year would be the gift of...love."
Find a new douchbag.
"So do you...like being slapped?"
Major clue that you've picked the wrong Valentine's Date.

So have a great Presidents Day everyone! Make sure you get everyone you love some stationary, postage stamps, rare coins, or anything useful but utterly boring as piss. REJOICE!!!