stiggy56

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+------------ Bizarre Things People Have Done -------------+

[The following is from the British Sunday Express giving
Gongs (medals) for dubious distinctions]

To John Bloor, who mistook a tube of superglue for his
hemorrhoid cream and glued his buttocks together.

To Henry Smith, arrested moments after returning home with a
stolen stereo. His error was having tattooed on his forehead
in large capital letters the words "Henry Smith." His lawyer
told the court: "My client is not a very bright young man."

To Michael Robinson, who rang police to deliver a bomb threat,
but became so agitated about the mounting cost of the call
that he began screaming "Call me back!" and left his phone
number.

To Paul Monkton, who used as his getaway vehicle a van with
his name and phone number painted in foot-high letters on
the side.

To Julia Carson, who as her tearful family gathered 'round
her coffin in a New York funeral parlor, sat bolt upright
and asked what the hell was going on. Celebrations were
short-lived, due to the fact that Mrs. Carson's daughter,
Julie, immediately dropped dead from shock.

To poacher Marino Malerba, who shot a stag standing above
him on an overhanging rock -- and was killed instantly when
it fell on him.

To the passengers on a jam-packed train from Margate to
Victoria, who averted their eyes while John Henderson and
Zoe D'Arcy engaged in oral sex and then moved on to inter-
course ... but complained when the pair lit up post-coital
cigarettes in a nonsmoking compartment.


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