so nothing is going well. thats not new. i used to bounce back. i used to overcome. it's seems ,that, like everything else i cared for/about, has gone by the wayside. left behind because i just didnt t see it slipping away. didnt notice or at the time didnt care. i know i shouldnt let things get to me. that nothing is permanent and people, places, things, moments should be enjoyed but never coveted because its not within anyones power to keep things golden. they come and go with the ebb and flow of life and should be taken in like the scenery on some picturesque road trip. noticed, appreciated, and then left in the rearview. even as i type the words and see the logic that lay in them, it escapes me. i refuse to take even my own advice. common sense takes a back seat to longing and desire. but no matter how bad you want something you cant have it if it just isnt there to be had. was it even there to begin with? you never know. i dont know. that much im certain of. life, love, lust are the same way a cloud in the sky will take a different form for everyone that takes it in. two people see something different when they are looking at the same thing. our interpretations will always fail us. nothing is ever what it seems. i look out the window, at the storm clouds and the first few drops of rain falling, and consider that we, or atleast i am, the same.
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