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stevesod

San Antonio

Member Since 2002

Followers 21 Following 18

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Wednesday Feb 12, 2003

Feb 12, 2003
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GOD I FEEL LIKE SUCH A FUCKING IDIOT. frown
Allow me to elaborate.
There's a coffeeshop that I've been going to for years now. (check out their website) There's just something about that place that makes me feel comfortable. A few years ago, I spent every day off from work there, usually reading a book. Spent all day there. Love that place.
I've also seen how the staff has changed personnel over the years; but they're always good people. The staff there is just the coolest.
Anyway, I went there tonight for a... beverage... (ducking the word 'coffee' in case Freyja reads this... hee hee), and I noticed there was a new girl working there, but she had her back turned to me when I reached the counter, she was preparing a drink. When she was finished with that order and ready to take my order, I looked up from the menu and saw her face. I swear, I was THIS close to just blurting out, "oh my GOD you are SO CUTE!" She reminded me a lot of Freyja, so you KNOW that I was practically clawing for napkins to wipe up the drool that I was making. I managed not to make an idiot of myself in either of those respects somehow; but I was just totally smitten. She kinda smiled at me, I took my... drink... and went to a table and read the local rag. She came out a few times to clean up the tables around me and also looked my way a couple of times and smiled.
Now, despite the persona that I display on-stage or the "couldn't give a fuck" attitude of the lyrics I write, I'm actually a very quiet and even a shy person. Unless I'm around people that I don't care to know personally, then I can be loud because I just don't care. But I digress.
So as much as I wanted to talk to this girl, I just COULDN'T find the words to say. And knowing my luck as of late, I'll probably never see her working there again. I drove all the way home calling myself "stupid." DAMMIT, WHY CAN'T I JUST "SAY ANYTHING"????
Oh, and I also found an EP by Lard, which was a project that Jello Biafra (the heart of the Dead Kennedys) and Al Jourgensen (of Ministry) did in the 80's. It's good stuff; it's also the first time that I've heard a single song that's 31 minutes, 55 seconds long (it's just goes on and on).
I'm going to go walk my doggie now to try to get over some of this feeling of stupid. whatever
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
stevesod:
Thanks, Clara. I think. wink
Feb 12, 2003
freyja__:
you're so silly!!
i hope next time you won't back down from talking!

*pretends you're not talking about c*ffee*
wink

happy v-day!
Feb 14, 2003

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