steveshyte

I haven't touched a door knob in 7 years.

Every time I fly Southwest Airlines I get a lead pipe hard on. It never happens on any other airline. I almost fucked a bag of peanuts over Bakersfield. I'm currently rubbing up against my luggage like a zoo animal waiting for the airport shuttle. It's good to be home after a month of gigs.

Adult baby wipes are the greatest invention of all time. It's like a day spa for your asshole.

Shitting green on Sunday = having too much fun on Saturday.

"Snooki Goes to Jail" sounds like the name of bad black gay rape fantasy porn.

Is there an unwritten rule in fast food that a tranny must work the drive thru window after 11pm? I dont know if I should be more repulsed by the fact that I've been picking wig hair out of my McFlurry for the past 3 miles or I can't get rid of my hard on.

I thought I was fat until I went to a casino last night and saw casino fat.

I went to use my ex-girlfriends Ped Egg and found a pubic hair inside. I don't want to know...

I've never seen a female plumber, but I've seen a guy suck his own dick online. That's so wrong.

I used to be on top of the world. Now I'm on top of your mom.