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anyone who follows my journal regularly should know certain things about me by now.... whats happening in my life... what i do... how hard i work.... but not really me...

but you will know little bis

one of them that would have come across is the ups and downs.... i go from really up and positive to quite down and negative... all quite quickly...

another...
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no more drink.... this weekend has shown what a twat i can be when drinking

my current state of mind + drink = a complete fucking arse hole...

my apologies to anyone its affected at any time... you know you all mean the world to me... and good intentions is not is no excuse for my behavior at times

time for a change... i fucked...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
whitetrash7:


man what you gone and done????? i gather its the events from a weekend in southend..talk to me m8...
kaetzchen:
i still love you :3
*minx*
kiss
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ok my apologies for the length of this post.... i have just had a realisation and i find these things easier to work through if i type them out... as i can go through and analyze my thoughts.... and from now on i'm going to write them in here.... as you never know... someone may haven't an important point to add that i may over...
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blythe:
googie youre great...you always make me think!! x x x x kiss
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ok... new profile pic... maybe i'll do a happier one soon.... but the way i feel with work at the moment... thats appropriate so it stays

also added a couple of shots of me (the me folder funnily enough...) working last night.... one was taken at about 1 in the morning... the next at about 5.... so you can imagine i wasn't the happiest bunny...
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born_to_die:
work work work.....makes thing happen dude. all good in the long run skull
clearbrightfire:
oh dear frown take a day off, have a touch of skiveritis
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christ im bored....

fed up with working so much

am looking forward to boarding

also to battlefront 2 coming out... can see me spending quite some time on the xbox again then.... plus not long till the 360

i can tell when things are bad.... i go back to looking forward to game related incidents.... virtual rather than real life....

blythe:
Im so sad...but im lookin forward to nintendogs!!!...if not a little scared at the same time...y'see a few years ago i got a gameboy and harvest moon....now i have an addictive personality...lets just say..not much got done around here!!!....hey are you on msn today??...send me some death from above i wanna hear em!!!! x x x x x loves ya googie! x x
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theres plenty to tell.... but you know what... i just cant be bothered smile

hope you're all well

me...

actually.... i have a quick one....

where's the logic in this...

why is it that people who state they are amazing in a certain field or area (i'm a fucking amazing artist, im a fucking amazing snowboader, i so sexy, i'm so hard i'm a really good...
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blythe:
*does a little dance!*

[Edited on Oct 22, 2005 12:24PM]
astupidfox:
agreed
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ok... i should up date... i promised blythe i would....

its been an interesting, twisty turny few days...

i could have updated one day, which i nearly did... and literally by the next day that would have been completely invalid....

i've had women problems right across the board, in all ways imaginable... from the thought of never meeting someone i'd like... to then not thinking...
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born_to_die:
dude i did'nt think paintball was a sport tongue but its all good anyway my little halo influenced sports person tongue

see ya soon dude...
kaseypoteet:
sorry...just assumed legendary was a given among halo freaks!! biggrin

i was given a 360 over the summer when I worked at E3 (by one of the Microsoft dudes who wanted to impress me)...Alas, my ex totally jacked it, but I'm feeling better now that the OFFICIAL release of the 360 is almost upon us...GAMERS REJOICE!!! smile

So...what's this top secret halo-y news? It's so wrong of you to keep me in suspense this way!! wink
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what is the difference between those who do... and those who dont....

is it want....

is it fear....

is it need...

is it worry...

is it passion...

is it stupidity....

is it desperation...

is it a lack of understanding...

i cant figure why i dont, when i really want to...

there must be a reason... i just need to come to terms with what that...
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blythe:
i knew that was you even though youve changed your name!!! x x x
astupidfox:
is it want....no. I want to do many things as much as the other guy

is it fear....yes. we're all scared of failing, and not only failing but the responsibilities that follow the failure. Picking up where you left off. Be able to feed yourself.

is it need...don't think so.

is it worry...definately

is it passion...humans are made to have passion. why did so many of us lose it?

is it stupidity....no way. ignorance, naivity maybe.

is it desperation...sometimes

is it a lack of understanding..yes. don't know how to start, where to begin. how to get there and what to do after step 1.

i cant figure why i dont, when i really want to...me neither.

its funny youw rote this journal. I have been thinking similarly lately. I know that I should be preforming in some form. in any way. and yet I'm not. I don't kow where to start. I don't want to risk everything, get no nowhere, and have no money. its so silly. i'm only 21. i should do these htings while i can...and i feel too settled. i'm questioning so many things about myself its madness!
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ok from my last post you may think i actually want a woman... not true... i was just making an observation...

but...

i have a lot of friends who dont see that... they think i must want a partner, need to have a partner... mostly because i have been alone for so long now...

point iss, understand the importance of relationships... of course... i loved...
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kaetzchen:
kiss
blythe:
hahahahahahahaha...googey you are fabulous x x x x x
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life and its strange mysteries.... the girls that like me... i have absolutely no interest in what so ever...

any girl i might possibly like.... its obvious they wouldnt be interested before i even try.... or far to many complications to make it viable and so i wouldnt bother anyway...

yeah thanks life, i love you too

to be honest... i guess its not a...
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blythe:
"life and its strange mysteries.... the girls that like me... i have absolutely no interest in what so ever..."

MR GOOGE!!!! I shall take this as an insult...and go and cry into my glass of wine *sniff*
biggrin
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha tongue
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fuck...

im bored, skint and lonely

not a great combination....

oh well... to much work to do to worry about it anyway....
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
born_to_die:
hey man just like me then....
but looking forward to the weekend, will have to hook up at some point cos i here your not going to the convention frown

see ya dude
liccle_minx:
....don't be lonely...I'm looking forward to seeing some graff from you real soon...will you post on here?...


...got to ask btw...what's lost all about last night...how scary was that geezer at the end....ewwwww....it's weird...but very intriguing.... surreal