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stendec

French Polynesia

Member Since 2002

Followers 20 Following 24

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Wednesday Apr 02, 2003

Apr 2, 2003
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I imagine many things when I am alone. I like to lose myself in thought and let it free fly in any direction it chooses. Stream of consciousness. Well just now, I was imagining this:

I was imagining you and I. I was imagining that we were standing in a wide open field. The sun shining bright above us and the sky a blue so clear and pure it is holier than white. The air is warm, the lightest of breezes playing gently with your hair. The grass at our feet lush and a green the very colour of life. There is no sound, only the silence of time.

We are holding hands. Lightly, easily, trust flowing into me from the softness of your skin. In the stillness I can feel the beating of your heart. The beat upon which all great and beautiful music is made. The beat that comforts me even now, replacing the silence I would feel in your presence. We are standing there, facing one another.

We are naked. We are open. And we are free. Exposing everything that we are. There is no fear, it cannot exist when we are together. Without self. Not I and not You, but the unity of two made one. The purity of this moment could not have been described by the greatest of the old prophets. We are naked in flesh, as we are naked in mind and naked in soul. Your body is the meaning of beautiful. Your mind is the mystery I can never solve, my attention forever captured. And your soul is the air that feeds my breath, the light that shines away the darkness.

We stand and look, not at each other, but into each other. And we see each other in the light, the silence, the truth of our nakedness. In your eyes I could travel the universe and desire yet more. With you and through your eyes I can see the final dimension. The duality of our minds together as my eyes might see the contours of your face and yours might see the intimacy between us. Your eyes share with me what I have always hoped, what I have always known, what I have always been afraid to touch. In your eyes I see our reflections into infinity. Even thus enraptured, I am aware of your smile. An expression of the joy I feel when you see into me and smile like all the words I will ever write. A mirror image of feeling. A reflection of being.

My mind is blank, empty except for the fullness of... How can I describe the meaning of these three simple words? Simple, and yet perhaps the least understood of all. I do not understand them myself. Not without You. They are meaningless without You. There are only two words without You. Two words, directionless, pointless, and wasted. I can only dream, I can only imagine their truth.

And so, like a bird merely watching I fly away, alone into the bright blue sky, and disappear into the heavens. And I return to myself and see words on a screen and smile, knowing that one day I will find you and that one day we'll stand together on a field of green under the shining sun.
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
sugar24232:
neato. im in ontario...bout an hour or so from toronto
Apr 4, 2003
noelle:
I`m so tired right now that i almost feel sick but i wanted to tell you this.
I just walked home from a friends house in the ice and in the snow. You know, how when you are really shitfaced, you walk so carefully on the ice because you are so afraid of slipping? But it`s too much, it`s over concentration and it can`t last. And what really happens is that you fall when you are sober, not when you are drunk. Drunks are careful, they know what`s going on because they think they don`t. It`s the straightedgers, the designated drivers, the underagers that don`t see the boy on the bicycle with that look in his eye until it`s too late.
Apr 4, 2003

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