stella_marie

THE LOONY IS OUT OF THE BIN!!!!!
Thats right kids, im out of the psych ward. humor is a wonderful defense mechanism. anyways, thanks everyone for their kind words and emails. this was actually just a vacation for me. a vacation from the mess ive made of myself. i guess i should thank whoever put the pcp in my drink that night for getting this ball rolling. actually, i was serious about that. i guess that explains the trails and noisy eyelash comments. i did the pee in a cup thing at the hospital when i checked in and it came back positive for pcp. i never fuck around with shit like that cause i know my fucked up brain cant handle it. this incident was just proof. but why would someone put pcp in my drink? ladies, when they say not to leave your beer alone even in the bar you always go to cause someone could put shit in there and god only knows what can follow and you think it cant happen to you, well, it can. i got lucky cause part of my plan was calling a friend for help and he came to get me shortly after it kicked in. i dont want to think of an alternative ending to that story. but it was nothing a massive cocktail of haldol and ativan couldnt cure. they said it takes the edge off. the amount they gave me would take the edge off a fucking horse. theres about 12 hours i cant account for while under its influence. all i know is it involved being propped up on things and some possible droolage. but the rest of the time there we just spent figuring out doses of meds and getting normal sleep patterns. it was actually just what i needed. but you would be amazed the little things you didnt realize you missed until you get out. i missed the wind. the sun was so much brighter. things i wont miss - eating a vegeburger every night for dinner and having a woman watch me shave my legs. anyways, im back at my parents house now and my plan for tonight - im gonna watch at least 4 episodes of six feet under. no phones. no pics. no nothing. just relaxing. i should be back in the city tomorrow. i miss my kitties. oh, and of course, i missed you guys and my daily intake of hot naked chicks. i did see a lot of ass cracks and an 80 year old womans kootch, but those things were just traumatic. it feels good to be home.