we spent ten years together. shes been with me through every boyfriend and every guy in between. in a few hours, someone is coming to replace her but she doesnt know that yet. not only are they going to replace her, they are going to take her out of here and leave her on the street for garbage. i cant even say it out loud cause i know im going to miss her, but in reality, if she stays, im going to have to see a chiropractor. i know ill sleep better at night, but im going to miss this old lumpy bed. i cant celebrate till she cant hear me. this is our last night together. im going to masturbate in her one last time, kiss her goodnight, and wait for sleepys in the morning.
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you should look forward to breaking in the new one.