stella_marie

i really thought i was the generationt to get it right. my grandmother was married to a piece of shit that would beat her. my mother is in a loveless marriage. so i was the one to finally get it right. i stand up for myself. i dont take shit from anyone. the only problem is, im not made of fucking stone. i laughed tonight when he called me a tease. i stood up for myself when he called me a bitch. tonight was the first time ever i felt like i might actually get physically attacked by a guy. and as he threw insults and threats my way, i stood there. i was holding a beer bottle and with a simple switch of direction, it became a weapon. he talked tough, but i stood my ground. and as the word cunt rolled so easily off his tongue, my beer just as easily flowed over his head. i wasnt wrong. i wont apologize. i said no. it bruised his ego. he felt like less of a man. so now i ask, what makes a man? does it make you a man to stand up to a woman? does it make you a man to tell her what she's missing out on after she says no the first time? does it make you a man to tell her she's a piece of shit you wouldnt want anyways after she rejects you again? does it make you a man to belittle her loudly in front of strangers so you come out on top? or does it make you a man that you restrained yourself from hitting her? is that what a real man does these days? does a bruise to the ego equal one to her eye? what is it going to take for me to go out for one evening, enjoy myself with some friends, and not have to end the night the way tonight did? he overstepped a boundary that no real man would ever even approach. but the part that makes me sick is that he went home thinking "that bitch was crazy" and i went home thinking "what did i do wrong". im not the generation they have been waiting for.