god, i miss him! the way he knew exactly what to say to piss me off. the way he could lift me above his head and how he carried me all around the apartment. the way he could last for hours and couldn't cum until i did. how is eyes were blue and yellow, not green. blue on the outside and yellow inside. how he used to get really mad when i played with the radio in the car. i love him. now that we are not together he says the sweetest things. like i was telling him about how now i want romance and to one day have a real wedding and just have a gwen and gavin style love story. and i said "if" and he said "when". i told him how nothing has worked out since we split up and he said any guy was crazy to pass me up. i thought that was sweet. i can't take him back. he will just hurt me again. gotta stay grounded. i am vulnerable because i am lonely and he knows that. he always does that. my knight in shinning armor when my rebound doesn't work. this is why i say we can't be friends but he keeps calling then we say let's try this again and we do then he fucks up and breaks up with me out of guilt. i miss being a housewife too. that's stupid i know but i like to cook and clean. i liked being a mrs. and i liked knowing i had someone coming home to me. that was the best part of the day when he would come home. and we would talk about our day and eat dinner. and it's so great having someone to hold you pretty much 24/7. i hate feeling like i need him.
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