starsandsmokes

... it's kind of odd, i came in from work, walked next door to grab a six pack real quick, came back in and see a note on our board o' messages that she (the one that broke my heart a long time ago) called, and instantly i get extremely upset, like wanting to crawl into a hole and die upset. so a grab a beer and come upstairs, and sit down and think to myself, well i guess that's the only chance i'll get to talk to her for at least a good few months, too bad i missed it. and just as this thought is leaving my mind, the phone rings, and it's her, and it wasn't upsetting, it was normal, like we never missed a beat, like we had just talked yesterday, besides the whole "how's life treating you?" spiel, but i haven't talked to her since the last time it was cold outside. now she lives in baltimore, and is apprenticing at an aveda salon, she sounded happy, which is good because the last time i remember her happy was just over a year ago when we were still seeing each other, the few times i saw or heard from her after she left me, she was always very depressed and distant. she said she wanted to hang out, but i've heard that before, and i always became a wreck because of it if we didn't, and the same thing happened if we did, we both never knew what we wanted, besides each other, and i was too scared to be hurt like that again. i'm not putting much stock in hearing from her again for a long while, but it was nice hearing from her. in other news, i got 2 more tickets for free from a record rep to the ryan adams show this saturday in philly, she said she wanted to come along, but like i said, i doubt i'll hear from her again for a while...

p.s. it's snowing.