starkofdoom

Bleh.... I wanna go get a tattoo but I don't know what to get anymore...

I feel like.... I don't know. I have my days where I am ok, and kinda happy. I mean everything that is fucked in my life is there, but I don't notice it so much. Then there are days like today though.... where I am fucking falling apart at the seams. The thing is though, days like today have a cumulative effect. Lowering my permanent...
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I Want to Know Your Plans,

by Say Anything


I want to know your plans
And how involved in them I am
When I go to sleep for good
Will I be forgiven?
And if you want roses, you can go buy a bouquet.
If that just won't cut it, well what can I say?

Youre what keeps me believing this worlds not gone dead...
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Huh, so Ashley got a hold of me today..... felt kinda weird. When someone you decided a month ago to not talk to ever again and hate gets a hold of you and apologizes of all things.... I don't know. She is moving to Virginia and I guess I realized that even though shit got fucked up between us I don't think it is worth...
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I went back and listened to a bunch of 90's songs I haven't heard since highschool. I miss a lot of this music, but at the same time how am I old enough to be reminiscing about music in highschool.

So.... I think I finally understand how depression works for normal people. It's kind of weird because I am so used to it ruling my life. Before It pervaded everything, there was no part of my life that was unaffected by it. Now though... I am depressed and feel bad when I am alone with my thoughts, but it isn't the same because it isn't.......
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So... I turned a corner today I think.... I am going to be cautiously optimistic at this point though because I might just be having a good day. I will elaborate further when I am more comfortable with it.

I am an idiot. I have spent the last week overreacting to a friend ignoring me. I doubt she will ever talk to me again and I have ruined something awesome. I am a fucking idiot.

My friends have decided I am homophobic.... based on two things. Number one, when I am at a party made up of pre dominantly gay people, I am uncomfortable, number two, when I have been around gay couples in the past I have been uncomfortable.

Now the thing that they are ignoring is this, when I am at a PARTY, regardless of demographic, I am...
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Fuck I miss her in my arms. Fuck Fuck Fuck