So, I kinda wanna get some thoughts out of my head. I am obsessed with love and am majoring in philosophy, so this is where this stems from.
True love and successful relationships I think should be based on one thing. I take this from the Kantian view of ethics and the formula of the end in itself. Love and a relationship should be based on that love and that relationship being the end not the means. In todays society a lot of relationships are kept together or end because the purpose of the relationship is no longer the relationship or love itself, it becomes about stability, or wanting a certain kind of lifestyle. So the relationship or love serves as a means in order to reach an end. Kant would say this kind of action is unethical, now I may not agree with Kant's view on ethics, it can be a bit rigid by my standards, but a true relationship or true love can only be found when both individuals involved seek to continue or pursue that love as an end rather then a means. This is a difficult thing to do not just because of the social perspective on relationships and the fact that you are tying your life to another person during this process, so it is easy for other ends to enter into the equation, be that financial stability, or on an even more basic level lust. I think one needs to be able to examine their relationship with another person independant of outside forces and be able to determine if they are continuing to pursue the relationship as an end or as a means.
This actually causes me some issues, because I find that I sometimes pursue relationships as an end. I pursue them because I find when I am in a relationship I am a stronger better person so I seek them out with goal of wanting to be that person. I need to break this idea and habit. Also the concept that you are with someone because they make you happy is flawed if that is the sole purpose, because you are using that relationship as a means to the end of happiness. This is probabaly the part of my idea I am most stuck upon, because happiness is a most worthy end. However I think you still need to pursue true love for it alone, and that by doing this happiness will be a by product, but you truly should even ignore that fact.
Hmmmmmmmmm... I need to work on thsi some more.
True love and successful relationships I think should be based on one thing. I take this from the Kantian view of ethics and the formula of the end in itself. Love and a relationship should be based on that love and that relationship being the end not the means. In todays society a lot of relationships are kept together or end because the purpose of the relationship is no longer the relationship or love itself, it becomes about stability, or wanting a certain kind of lifestyle. So the relationship or love serves as a means in order to reach an end. Kant would say this kind of action is unethical, now I may not agree with Kant's view on ethics, it can be a bit rigid by my standards, but a true relationship or true love can only be found when both individuals involved seek to continue or pursue that love as an end rather then a means. This is a difficult thing to do not just because of the social perspective on relationships and the fact that you are tying your life to another person during this process, so it is easy for other ends to enter into the equation, be that financial stability, or on an even more basic level lust. I think one needs to be able to examine their relationship with another person independant of outside forces and be able to determine if they are continuing to pursue the relationship as an end or as a means.
This actually causes me some issues, because I find that I sometimes pursue relationships as an end. I pursue them because I find when I am in a relationship I am a stronger better person so I seek them out with goal of wanting to be that person. I need to break this idea and habit. Also the concept that you are with someone because they make you happy is flawed if that is the sole purpose, because you are using that relationship as a means to the end of happiness. This is probabaly the part of my idea I am most stuck upon, because happiness is a most worthy end. However I think you still need to pursue true love for it alone, and that by doing this happiness will be a by product, but you truly should even ignore that fact.
Hmmmmmmmmm... I need to work on thsi some more.