So.... I think I finally understand how depression works for normal people. It's kind of weird because I am so used to it ruling my life. Before It pervaded everything, there was no part of my life that was unaffected by it. Now though... I am depressed and feel bad when I am alone with my thoughts, but it isn't the same because it isn't.... crushing? It just hurts, it isn't making me miss class, I am not having issues at work and I don't look at myself and decide I am worthless.
I used to do all of those things, now, I look at myself and I say, I miss her, but I am someone worth being and my life is worth living. My future isn't something to be afraid of anymore, it's something to hope for. I am able to be excited about the changes that are going to be happening in my life, even if they are gonna be kind of hard and are going to cause a large amount of upheaval. Before I wouldn't have been able to handle this, now... well I miss her, but I am not going to let it destroy me, I am not gonna let it send back to that darkness I have lived in the past 3 years.
I am not going to give up, I am happy and I am not going to let that change.
I used to do all of those things, now, I look at myself and I say, I miss her, but I am someone worth being and my life is worth living. My future isn't something to be afraid of anymore, it's something to hope for. I am able to be excited about the changes that are going to be happening in my life, even if they are gonna be kind of hard and are going to cause a large amount of upheaval. Before I wouldn't have been able to handle this, now... well I miss her, but I am not going to let it destroy me, I am not gonna let it send back to that darkness I have lived in the past 3 years.
I am not going to give up, I am happy and I am not going to let that change.