starkofdoom

Ugh.... I hate that I am falling back into old habits and obsessions. Ashley is finally becoming part of my life again and all of sudden I start becoming obsessed and stalkerish again. Damn it, I need to not let shit happen like it did. I just get these insane ideas and scenarios in my head that make so much sense.... until they fall apart....
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Hahahahaha, So I just finished giving my best friend $300 to pay her power bill, because it was overdue, and going through this whole schpeel about how she shouldn't wait till stuff is out of control to call me and how she is best friend and I want to try to be there for her and help her deal with shit. This is all very...
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Life is interesting. I really do want to update this more then I realize no one reads it hehe. Hopefully I will start updating it more once I am in school again and have something else to write about. As of right now my collective array of topics includes, WoW, my new weight lifting workout, depression and of course it's causes. For todays post we...
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Why does she have to make it so fucking hard? I need to talk to her so I can let her know I am not gonna be paying for her phone anymore and give her a chance to say something about it, because it's the right thing to do. Of course she won't answer my calls or respond to my messages. I need to do...
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Ugghhh why can't shit get easier? I am trying really hard to act like a real person and give my friend Ashley a fair shake as simply a friend. This is complicated due to a load of history including promises she made to me and the fact that I kinda fell in love with her while she was my best friends girl. Yeah, I know...
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This is an awesome weekend, I find out a good friend died yesterday and now I am literally the only person at work so I am busy as fuck... and oh yeah I'm seeing shit again, nice little floating dots....

So what have I learned from working at a porn convention? Not nearly as hot in person. I figured that in the first place but still... I had hopes. Still plenty of eye candy, especially considering I am getting paid to sit around and do this. Other then that its good times, lots of fun people who are just here to drink, party and have...
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Fuck Brakes.

So beyond my awesome time trying to figure out all the info on my car so i can find out how much its gonna cost me to replace the breaks on my car not a whole lot is going on. My friend Ed is apprenticing to be a tattoo artist and it provides me an opportunity to get some work done and help...
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Started taking my dog on my walks with me... I really wish I had a digital camera so I could post some pics of him, but that is not in the cards right now!!

Gah stupid jealousy... STOP IT.

I think alot lately about what I have done to my friends.... I have been an assuming asshole for the most part. I always say that my friends and family are what are important to me and I would help any of them.... For the last few months I have been thinking that I had been lying to myself for years because what have I...
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I'm losing it.... I can't get my head off my problems and even when I am at work where I can normally focus on other stuff I just can't stop thinking about it, and its tormenting me.... Damn it... I need to find something to do outside of playing wow and working.