only a month to go in this place. my fantasy for quite a while has been to leave here. this town does not fit me, nor do i feel the need or want to fit it.
i am ready and have been.
now we are leaving. 4 weeks left.
im so excited to know that my girlie and i will have a month and a half of uninterrupted us time. its easy to get lost in daily life when your trying to pay the bills and save money. i cant wait to have more time to just spend growing with her and with myself and putting to rest the anxiety that this place has given me.
i firmly believe that certain towns,cities, etc....energies are corrupt. energy is very important to me.
ive grown to learn that i am more susceptable than some to the energies that surround me (probably why i was drawn to reiki so much)...
this town to me...let me try and describe it. has the potential to be such a beautiful place. BUT. there are so many people here that do not want to be here..so many people who miss their families and loved ones. so many people that have gotten lost in the corporate mumbo jumbo of paying the next fucking bill, hiding their true personalities sucking down another beer to forget who they were before they become another drone....
its smothering....oppressive the energy here. its strange to say that in the 5 years that i have been here...i have not met ANYONE that has personally grown other than to take the giant step to leave.
even for me...this past 5 years..i have watched my motivation deminish (although i did chug through and graduate) i have watched myself lose touch with so many things that at one time were extremely important to me.
i have hardly made any good friends, and have learnt more lessons about mistrusting and how to deal with pain than how to live with happiness.
this is not my town. nor will ever be.
4 weeks..
it couldnt come sooner.
i am ready and have been.
now we are leaving. 4 weeks left.
im so excited to know that my girlie and i will have a month and a half of uninterrupted us time. its easy to get lost in daily life when your trying to pay the bills and save money. i cant wait to have more time to just spend growing with her and with myself and putting to rest the anxiety that this place has given me.
i firmly believe that certain towns,cities, etc....energies are corrupt. energy is very important to me.
ive grown to learn that i am more susceptable than some to the energies that surround me (probably why i was drawn to reiki so much)...
this town to me...let me try and describe it. has the potential to be such a beautiful place. BUT. there are so many people here that do not want to be here..so many people who miss their families and loved ones. so many people that have gotten lost in the corporate mumbo jumbo of paying the next fucking bill, hiding their true personalities sucking down another beer to forget who they were before they become another drone....
its smothering....oppressive the energy here. its strange to say that in the 5 years that i have been here...i have not met ANYONE that has personally grown other than to take the giant step to leave.
even for me...this past 5 years..i have watched my motivation deminish (although i did chug through and graduate) i have watched myself lose touch with so many things that at one time were extremely important to me.
i have hardly made any good friends, and have learnt more lessons about mistrusting and how to deal with pain than how to live with happiness.
this is not my town. nor will ever be.
4 weeks..
it couldnt come sooner.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
Glad you found me..
I DJ & I have a Wicked Geisha performance troup..
I will be going to Burning Man this year and should be DJing at about 3 camps.. It will be my first time believe it or not.. everyone else I know has gone.. I'm not much for the desert is why.. ::grin::
Thanks for the well wishes.. my finger will survive.. winK*
PS: I usually end up DJing at Fetish Clubs, which is fine by me.. in SF people are pretty nice / cool.. It's not my scene but I guess "my scene" doesn't really exist.. I enjoy all types of environments, especially if costumes are encouraged.. I also DJ at underground & experimental events..
Here's my music description:
Industrial, Electro, EBM, Techno,
Tech- House, Gothic, 80's, Noise, World, Alien...
Usually Vampy Hard Edged Sounds
with Ethereal Mixes..