starfior

I took down my profile because I need to take another look at my life and how I percieve it. I know something as simple as a profile really wouldn't matter to some people, but if I'm unsure of where I stand, how can I express myself to other people?

I've not cried. Not for a couple days anyway. I think this means I'm getting better. I've only snapped once recently and that was at my sister making an uncalled for comment. So... yeah... Improvement.

I'm getting inked again. It's probably not the best time in my life to be getting something permanent done on me, but I love the design and I want to feel physical pain, but I refuse to harm myself or pick fights anymore.

I listened to a cutter explain why she does what she does today. A good friend and I then discussed how cutting is honestly less destructive than the ways that I deal with problems. That is to say, drinking or blowing up at people who don't deserve it. I think I need to work on both of those. I know I need to work on both of those.

I have an appointment to see a counselor and talk about medication. I suppose my original reason for wanting to see the counselor is void now, but I already have the appointment. Everyone wants me to stop being the way I am and start being normal. I guess I should just submit. I'll be happy then right? Whether I want to be or not..

And for one person... I miss you, but fear talking to you while emotions are still high.